Instant Hero Just Add Water Beta
by Becky C
Summary: This is a tale about Marlin Mason, a son of Demeter, and when he stumbles into Half Blood Hill and Eros starts giving him archery lessons, things go a bit, er, mad...Contains silly OCs. Be warned. This is a beta, so look out for the new version shortly...
1. Marlin Really Annoys Dionysus

**INSTANT HERO (just add water)**

**By Becky Creighton**

Welcome, one and all, to my first (proper) fic! This idea came to me one night when I was flicking through the Percy Jackson books, and I thought, "Hey! How come Demeter hasn't been mentioned much? I mean, without her, no-one would be able to, like, grow stuff!" So I came up with this tale about one of Demeter's unfortunate children. Please note that this is a Beta version of the story, so forgive me if it sucks.

Disclaimer: Rick Riordan owns the Percy Jackson series, including Annabeth, Grover and pretty much everyone else, but I did make up Marlin and all the other people in the Demeter cabin, plus Murphy the satyr, so HA! Contains spoilers to both books.

**Chapter 1: Marlin really annoys Dionysus**

'Please...wait..up!..' the Satyr moaned, struggling to keep up with the boy who was bounding excitably up the hill. He hadn't been expecting much physical effort for this one. Neither did he want it; for Murphy had only just eaten a whole load of Pepsi cans and pizza boxes, and as you can probably guess, his stomach was engaged in the equivalent effect of being thrown off a cliff, with weights attached. It had taken three days to bring Marlin to Half-Blood Hill, more like sixty anyway, because Marlin was a very inquisitive person, constantly wanting to do strange and impulsive things, like running down dark alleyways and throwing matches into liquids and seeing what happens next. In the end that trait was what had piqued Murphy's interest in the boy; that he might be a half-blood. So Murphy scooped Marlin up from Manhattan Middle School and decided to take him here, to Half-Blood Hill. He didn't seem concerned that in fact the Olympians were alive and kicking and still as irritable as they were two thousand years ago, his dad wasn't that happy about it, as he was a very over-protective person, and had jumped to the conclusion that Marlin was a member of some creepy cult; therefore instead of the usual hoards of monsters that followed potential heroes to Long Island, it was Marlin's father. After the amount of things that had happened to them as a result, Murphy couldn't decide which was worse. Marlin finally turned around to face the panting Satyr, sat down to rest beside a peculiar looking pine tree, and started to laugh at the small speck of his dad's car in the distance. 'I'M FREEEE!' Marlin yelled, cupping his hands together. Murphy had noticed something odd about Marlin the very moment he'd set eyes upon him, one day, in the middle of Latin. Maybe it was the boy's glossy auburn hair, that was strangely feminine and rather long, or his impossible gooseberry green eyes that stood out like huge caterpillars. Well, Marlin had just translated a sentence from Vigil as 'On Sundays, sardines park their helicopters outside Wal-Mart', which, Murphy pondered, was probably what he noticed first. Murphy had suspicions as to who were Marlin's real parentage, but for now he was going to keep that to himself. There were cans to be eaten. The satyr finally caught up with Marlin and crouched down beside him, looking out to the horizon at his dad's car.

"Funny lookin' tree. A bit out of place, too. What is it anyway? Pine, probably." Marlin plucked off one of the tree's dark green needles. Murphy winced.

"DON'T DO THAT!" he cried. Marlin was taken aback, and chuckled.

"Dude, it's _a tree_!"

Murphy pointed an accusing finger at him.

"Trees are people too! Plus, it ain't any random tree. That's Thalia's tree, or rather, _was, _Thalia's tree…after an, er, incident last summer. It protects the borders of the camp, and by plucking that leaf, you have just weakened the barriers that save your butt from being kicked by every monster on the planet. Think about it."

Marlin looked guiltily at the leaf between his fingers. Murphy was a very passionate environmentalist, even though by satyr standards, he was only fifteen. And with big dreams; for him to make them a reality, he had been told to find at least three campers and take them safely to Camp Half-Blood before he could start training as a Searcher for Pan. Marlin was his second assignment.

"I suppose you're right."

"Damn right." Murphy got up, sighing, but there was a tinge of bleating in it.

"Come now, Marlin. I must introduce you to Chiron, and Mr.D the camp director. You will welcomed by the other members of the camp, and will be sent into the Hermes' cabin, and will remain there until you are cla"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, DUH! Let's go. Show me the swords! Show me the chariots! Show me the gir- mmf!"

Murphy covered Marlin's mouth and rolled his eyes.

"Come on now, dreamer boy."

As the two travellers entered a clearing, Marlin looked around erratically at his surroundings. At first, he thought they were so strange that he half expected to see a random McDonald's Drive-Thru in the middle of it, but later on he would have done ANYTHING to see any fast-food at all. The first thing he realised was the sensation of loads of people's gazes falling on him at once. The next thing was the people themselves. All eerie looking, yet familiar, as if they were all related somehow… It's like those bits out of Western movies, when the outlaw is walking out of town into the sunset and the entire population is scowling at him, polishing their shotguns. Except these people were polishing spears, swords, gladiuses and bows, Greek battle armour and bucklers. Marlin suddenly felt very out of place. The next thing he noticed, after all the campers were bored of him and tired of waiting for him to do something stupid, was the satyrs. They were all wearing orange T-shirts, labelled _Camp Half-Blood_, and playing panpipes. Some of them noticed Murphy, and bleated in excitement, waving at him. Murphy smiled, realising the expression on Marlin's face, which was similar to the sort you would wear if one day, you opened your bedroom door after coming home from school, only to find the floor covered in layers and layers of £1000 bills, diamonds, video games and a Spanish villa buried somewhere underneath it. Then Marlin flicked back to reality when one last detail stuck in his mind. It was the vineyard and strawberry fields that caught his eye, and brought back a torrent of memories about his dad's old gardening shop….

It had been when he was only six or seven, and then there had been him, his dad, and his step-mum, living like one happy family. He had been amazing at, like, _growing stuff_ back then. Marlin would only have to water the flowers, whistle and sing, and then the soil would soften, leaves would darken and spread and the petals would shine. He never knew why it happened, why he had this crazy effect on plants, but his father joked and said, "Must be the good influence!" And then he would giggle and smile at his step-mum, named Grace. Grace. She was a young, pretty thing; Grace had studied horticulture and agricultural technology at college; She almost screamed intelligence. Short caramel coloured hair, purple-ish blue eyes and hands that looked as if they had been through everything and were not afraid to go back. Marlin had always felt happy when he had been growing and planting the flowers with his family in the store, he had decided to devote his life to plants; but then Grace died. Murdered. _Strangled_. Dad wasn't able to afford to keep the store, he didn't want to anyway because that was where Grace had been killed, and so they moved away, to noisy gloomy Manhattan. Marlin had long since put his passion for growing things behind him, and tried to forget about his step-mother, but seeing the strawberry fields and vineyards now just shoved it all in front of his mind again.

What Marlin didn't know was that as he pondered his past, Murphy, some other kids in the strawberry fields and a porky, black haired middle-aged man were staring at him.

"Umm, Marlin?"

Marlin blinked. "Yeah?"

"You're drooling."

Marlin blinked again, wiped the drool from his mouth and said, "It's the, uh, strawberries…I mean, dude, have you ever seen bigger fruits before in your life?"

And he wasn't totally lying, either. Surrounding the strawberry patches were satyrs and other kids rather similar to himself. As the music rang out from the satyrs' panpipes, mere water was sucked up greedily by the soil like it was some sort of magic potion, and at once leaves unfurled and the fruit reddened to a deep, bright vermilion, almost like blood.

"The strawberries? They're all mine, punk!"

Murphy and Marlin jumped and turned around startled. When Murphy saw who it was, he started shaking and sweating, as if this guy owned him. It was the porky man. He was slouching on a garden chair next to a scratched circular table, where he, a centaur, another satyr and a young man were playing a card game, but Marlin knew by the powerful energy that was leaking out of both humanoids like a tap that they were no ordinary people, at all. Marlin suspected that it was just alcohol, and he wasn't right off the mark. Although there was no wine on the table, the porky man simply reeked of it like he was the very essence of the stuff itself. He had insanely dark black curly hair, wore a tiger-print Hawaiian shirt (which was covered in stains; cola probably), and had huge watery eyes that were a deep purple. He seemed like someone who'd been really cute a couple of centuries ago, but Time had taken over and his body hadn't caught up yet, left in last place. He didn't have much of a smile about him, and his face was red from shouting and generally being grouchy. On the table, a can of Diet Coke materialised. The man stared at it loathsomely, groaned and pulled the ring. Murphy swallowed and finally said,

" Th-th-is-is is Mr.D, the camp director. Mr.D, this is Marlin. I success-cess-fully f-f-fulfilled your request, s-sir…"

As they both went forward, Murphy whispered, "Be very polite…"

"So where did you get this guy, Murphy?" Mr.D almost spat the name, and as he did so, the other satyr flinched. The young man beside him smiled. Marlin thought he'd seen him somewhere before, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. That face, that beautiful face, waxed blonde hair put into a fringe, perfect features, soft glowing blue eyes. He was wearing long flowing white robes adorned with gold letters, and swung over his shoulders was a long silver bow and quiver. Marlin noticed that the arrows had, instead of flights, golden hearts.

"You're Cupid," he said almost dreamily, "the god of Love."

Mr.D almost choked on his Diet Coke.

"_I'm Cupid?"_ he retorted, looking extremely offended. "If I'm Cupid, you're Hercules, shrimp!"

Both satyrs cringed in embarrassment. Murphy tried not to go green in the process.

"Oh, er…" Marlin whimpered. "I didn't mean you, sir, I, uh, meant the other guy is, er, Cupid…" His voice trailed off into the distance, taking tumbleweeds with it.

"_I'm _Cupid," the youth said finally, "Although my name is Eros, really. Why do mortals always call me by my Latin name? I hate being addressed as Cupid!" Eros' voice sounded like a harp being plucked, like silk, and had a subtle English accent. Had Marlin not been reasonably sane enough to resist, any regular mortal could've forgotten completely about reality just by listening to him.

" Mother and Father have punished me for ruining one of my missions by coming here to teach you archery. I was supposed to make two people called Romeo and Juliet fall in love, but they ended up killing themselves, and someone called Shakespeare wrote a play about it…"

Eros seemed like a perfectionist, wanting everything to go perfect, and could get extremely annoyed and ashamed if something went wrong. He buried his face in his hands, as his infinitely accurate memory recounted the exact episode. In his soft blue eyes, Marlin could see such horrible pictures, of lovers burning, blood spilling, Troy falling because of Helen's beauty, of Romeo and Paris fighting to the death, and Juliet slumping over Romeo's body, impaling herself on a dagger. Marlin shuddered. "The rest is history."

"Well I'm going to call you Cupid whether you like it or not, lover boy, 'cos I'M the camp director around here, so HA!" Mr.D ordered.

The centaur finally opened his eyes, for he had been sleeping while the fight had raged. Marlin got the impression he was used to seeing Eros and Mr.D argue. "As far as I am fully aware of, your father and his brothers in fact run this joint."

"I know, I know. I'm not that incredibly stupid, Chiron." Mr.D moaned. Under his breath, he muttered, "Killjoy…"

" I would like to challenge your proposition to call me Cupid, cousin, over a good game of pinochle." Eros said.

"Capital!" Mr.D replied, rubbing his hands together in delight, "Grover, re-shuffle the deck!"

Grover nodded vigorously, and set about gathering all the cards that were thrown haphazardly around the table. Grover was much older than Murphy, his horns were longer, and the goatee on his chin was thicker than a carpet.

Chiron stood up, allowing Marlin to see his four hooves clopping on the ground. He batted Grover's hands away from the cards and said, "That's enough, Mr.D and Mr.E. It is time for me to show our new arrival around the camp." In the confusion over Eros, both deities had completely forgotten about Marlin and Murphy.

"You're _still here?"_ Mr.D said grumpily. "I have a bone to pick with you, Marlin, uh, what's your surname?"

"Mason. Marlin Mason." Marlin said boldly. He disliked Mr.D already. '_Perhaps_,' he thought, '_I should keep calling him Dionysus_.'

"Well, Marilyn Manson, I would like to remind you that you are named after a _fish._"

Chiron smiled at Murphy and said, "You have done well, Murphy. Marlin is the second camper you have brought to Half-Blood Hill. I am sure you will make a great Searcher once you complete your task."

Murphy swelled with pride. Marlin was happy for his friend. He'd explained the nature of the search for Pan to Marlin, but he was rather concerned about the fact that not a single satyr had succeeded.

"Come, Marlin," Chiron said, beckoning to where twelve, ornately designed cabins lay in a courtyard, "We must take you to cabin eleven, where there are new friends to be made, where training ensues, where glory is to be found, and where a great adventure lies ahead."

And so Marlin followed the centaur into a world, which was far greater than he could've ever anticipated.

Chapter 1 _END._

AN: So the first chapter has ended! Which Olympian will claim Marlin? (You sort of know already, but..) What adventures will face him in his time at Camp Half-Blood? How can he possibly live up to the likes of Percy Jackson? And will Eros be any good at teaching? Find out in chapter two! Please review; all critique is welcome.


	2. Marlin Nearly Impales Himself On Riptide

**Instant Hero (Just Add Water)**

By Becky Creighton 

Well! Chapter two is finally here! Sorry for the HUGE delay, but a bunch of stuff happened and I'm as lazy as sin, so sorry to those who are really interested in this story. In this episode of Marlin's tale, an assortment of weird things happen to him. First of all, he bumps into more characters from the books, discovers he's a half-blood, and realises that being immortal doesn't mean Eros is good at teaching! Please review. Oh yeah, thanks to Tigster5 for reviewing. You're my first review, EVER, so be proud.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Percy Jackson series. Rick Riordan does. We must all bow down to his literary genius. I am not making money from this. I wish. Contains mega huge spoilers to Sea of Monsters.

Chapter 2: Marlin nearly impales himself on Riptide 

Marlin had taken to his surroundings like a fish to water. All around him, everything that was there seemed to be so right; as if it had all been just waiting for him there. Chiron bored him sometimes. He would occasionally ramble on about the gods and why such and such's cabin was like this, and why such and such's cabin was like that, but then he said something interesting that stuck in his mind.

"Over there are the cabins belonging to the Big Three. As you might know, the Big Three are Zeus and his brothers, Poseidon and Hades, but Hades does not have a cabin because he doesn't live in Olympus. So cabin three belongs to Hera, Zeus's wife, but as Hera is faithful to him she doesn't have any half-blood children so."

Marlin was about to fall asleep, until he said, with an anxious tone of voice, "But after an unusual and most bizarre turn of events, two of the Big Three's cabins are now occupied!"

Marlin snapped awake, his bright green eyes alert.

"Hmm?"

"Yes. Despite the oath that all three gods had made after World War Two, it appears that both Zeus and Poseidon broke it. Thalia, who was once the pine tree that guards the borders of this very camp, now resides in Cabin One, and Perseus Jackson in Cabin Three. Both of them are now entangled in what promises to be a most horrific prophecy, involving the very Fate of Western Civilisation-nay! the world- and my.." Chiron stopped to sigh. Marlin decided not to ask why.

"We must all hold our breath and see what happens next."

The centaur looked up and exclaimed, "Ah, we are here. Cabin Eleven. This cabin belongs to Hermes, and the reason why all unclaimed campers come here is because Hermes is the god of-Have I already told you this?"

"YES." Marlin said immediately, so he wouldn't have to endure another round of Chiron's lecturing.

"Very well. Go on in and meet up with your fellow campers. I shall rendezvous with you, Marlin, at the meeting in the afternoon. For now, adieu." The centaur galloped off towards the armoury, where a group of tough looking kids (who Marlin suspected could turn him into tomato puree any day of the week) were trying on helmets and shields and laughing at each other.

'Finally!' he thought, almost out loud. Then for the first time, Marlin had a good look at the place that would be his home for some time. The front looked like your average summer camp cabin; paint peeling off the wood like a banana skin, the scent of absolutely everything on the planet inside one tiny room. But unlike regular cabins, this one had a huge banner of the caduceus emblazoned on the front; a long silver pole with an orb and two white wings at the top, and two snakes entwined around it. Gingerly, Marlin walked in, knowing immediately by the heat that loads of people were inside-

"REGULAR OR UNDETERMINED?!?" came a huge chorus of yells.

Marlin jumped. He had no idea as how to reply to this so he just muttered, "Uh, dunno?"

There were some giggles, as well as groans, and a really tall, skinny, dark haired guy came up to greet him. He had a broad cheeky grin across his face, upturned eyebrows, a gleam in his eyes that told Marlin that was something he had that he wanted. All. The. Time. He had wavy russet hair that resembled seaweed. Marlin almost felt his body pushing itself back out of the cabin as the guy's shadow loomed over him.

"Ah. I think you must be undetermined. Come on in. My name is Travis Stoll, and this is my brother Connor." Travis stood out of the way, and then his identical twin brother's gaze fell on Marlin. Connor smiled. Marlin could barely see the difference. He looked at Travis. Then he looked at Connor. Then he looked at Travis again. Marlin blinked. Both brothers started to giggle.

"Don't worry, it happens to everyone. We'll be your mentors from now on until you get claimed." Connor announced (or was it Travis?).

"Er, claimed?" Marlin inquired, a tinge of sheer confusion in his voice.

"Yes, claimed." Travis (or Connor) replied, frowned and looked at Marlin oddly. "Claimed by your immortal parent."

Marlin froze. "_Immortal parent?_" he said, half-believing it himself.

"Did Chiron or your satyr not explain this to you?" Connor replied (Marlin was definitely sure it was Connor this time).

Marlin shook his head. Both twins exchanged glances.

"Marlin, did you ever know your real mother?" Travis asked.

He winced. No one had ever pressed him on this subject before, ever. Not even himself. Not since Grace had died. Travis sensed his reluctance to reply, and added,

"Here at Camp Half-Blood, we are all the children of the Olympians, the gods from ancient Greece, and so we are all gifted with special powers of a heroic scale!" he exclaimed with pride.

"Yes, indeed, and we are sorted into different cabins depending on which Olympian is our parent. Travis and I are sons of Hermes, the messenger god, and patron of thieves, merchants and travellers. Thus we are placed in cabin eleven. What we mean by undetermined is that the Olympian who is your mother hasn't made it known that you're her son. So until then you will be placed in cabin eleven, as all travellers are welcome wherever the caduceus is raised." Connor explained with great gusto. Marlin stood there, trying to take everything in, but not quite sure whether his brain had answered yet. Finally he mumbled something that could barely pass for a reply,

"So you're saying that my mum is a _goddess?_"

"Yep." The brothers Stoll chorused in unison.

Marlin just stood there. His mind just didn't know what to think anymore. Should he be surprised, or angry, or happy, or should he just do nothing at all? The last option seemed the easiest. The trees swayed. The wind drifted lazily by. Birds chirped sweetly. The sun stayed in its throne in the sky. The world wasn't in any hurry for him to do something dramatic or any of the above options. Life had so far taken him to this moment, and he wasn't going to waste it by just standing there wondering what to think. At last Marlin made up his mind.

"Well then," he said wittily, "What are we waiting for?"

"That's the spirit!" Connor cheered. "Come on in! Everyone, this is Marlin. Marlin, this is everyone!"

Marlin gave a little wave, gritting through his teeth and nerves once he saw the interior of cabin eleven.

"Uh, hi!"

It was bunged. Kids of all sizes and ages were crammed into one tiny cabin. Marlin calculated that there were about twenty-five. Some were lying down on sleeping bags on the floor, some looking really miserable and staring at him with big empty eyes, as if they were waiting for something they knew would never come. There were a few beds, occupied by the real members of the Hermes cabin. They looked rather similar to the Stoll twins, each having the same upturned eyebrows, sinister grin and twinkle in their eyes. Marlin not only struggled to find a place to put his few belongings (himself, for example), but also struggled to find something to say to these hollowed out, depressed children. The only thing he could think of for now was to smile. They didn't smile back. He had never expected them to do so.

Almost as soon as he had sat down, everyone started to file out of the room. Looking around him frantically, he got up with difficulty. Everyone was charging out, nearly trampling him. Marlin had to bend like a contortionist to weave his way through.

"Where are we going?" he complained to mid-air.

"Archery, silly!" said a girl's voice behind him. Marlin twirled around and gaped when he saw who it was. She was almost his spitting image. Long curly auburn hair, beaming green eyes, and a pale smooth face. But she had one thing he didn't have. Strength. She was far more athletic than him, but still the same height as him. Once she noticed the way Marlin was staring at her, she realised why.

"Are we related?" he asked.

"Here in Camp Half-Blood," she said smoothly, walking closer, "you never know. My name's Caitlin." Caitlin walked away, just like that. At first Marlin thought she was just going to abandon the loser that he was in the cabin, but he felt her hand grab his wrist and started to drag him out.

"Right Marlin, first things first. The armoury is that way, the archery range where we're heading to is to the south, the training area for melee combat is over- Marlin are you listening to me?"

And the truth was, no, he wasn't. He had never believed in love at first sight, but now he understood those weird songs that they continuously played on the radio. She was dazzling. Honey blonde hair, slightly tanned skin, and oddly, piercing grey eyes that seemed to pick out everything around them and study it intensively. Once she saw how Marlin was looking at her, she crossed her arms, and those eyes seemed to analyse him, trying to find out the best strategy on how to slap him. She turned her back, grabbed her plumed Greek war helmet and marched to the climbing walls.

"Marlin. Marlin. Marlin!" Caitlin called. She widened her eyes and threw out her arms in defeat. Finally, Marlin turned lazily, looking down, and said,

"Wh-AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!" he screamed, and very nearly impaled himself on the Sharp Pointy End of Riptide.

"Watch it! Jeez, you almost got shish-kebabed there!"

Marlin retreated, and looked, petrified, into the face of the sword's wielder.

He had short, jet-black hair and stormy sea-green eyes that stared on into infinity and beyond. Yet he was calm; Marlin wondered why he didn't break into a total freak out, he seemed to be the sort that would; but the storm in his eyes didn't rage.

"Sorry dude…"

"No prob." The boy took his sword, Riptide, away from Marlin's horrified body, and to his surprise, it turned into a pen. He made his way to the training arena.

Caitlin scowled at him once the boy had gone.

"You are useless, you know that, Marlin Mason."

"How did you know my surname?" Marlin slurred.

"News travels fast here. Nearly everyone in cabin eleven has heard of your encounter with Dionysus."

"It was a mistake I swear!" Marlin retorted indignantly.

"Well you won't get confused now, because Eros is teaching us archery today. Apparently he's useless at teaching, but he must be good."

"Well, duh."

"Come on, we're late enough as it is. You do not want to be there when a god gets angry."

Caitlin once again had to grab Marlin's arm when he looked around bemusedly.

"Must I lead you everywhere?"

"Caitlin, who was that guy who almost killed me back there?"

"That was Percy Jackson, son of Poseidon. Don't worry about him. You're better off not getting involved with the mess he's in. And that girl you were, ahem, _observing_, was Annabeth Chase."

"What d'you mean, observing?"

"That's not important right now. What does is archery."

Marlin moaned.

Eventually a clearing through the forest took the group to a large archery range. It was huge. There were loads of straw dummies and the end of it, all dressed up in Greek armour and togas. A bunch of tough looking kids were just collecting their stuff and going away. A girl with wild stringy brown hair sneered at him. Marlin was about to stick out his tongue back, but when he saw the sheer muscular strength of her body he decided against it, and when he saw her friends of similar build gather around her, he thought himself insane for even bringing up that idea at all.

"They're the Ares kids. Don't get in their bad books, especially Clarisse's."

"Clarisse was that punk down there?"

"Yep." Caitlin nodded.

Ares, he thought. The god of War. It made sense now that he thought about it. These people weren't the children of gods for the fun of it. At last Marlin saw Eros waiting for them. He looked flustered and confused, and had the sort of face you would wear if you had to pretend to be someone else and just been battered with a bunch of questions you don't even know the answer to but had to make it up as you went along. His once pristine blonde hair was thrown everywhere like it had just been weed whacked and tossed into a blender. He waved at cabin eleven half-heartedly, and then started to bite his lips when he saw how many where advancing upon him.

"Um, hello cabin eleven, uh, welcome to archery…" Eros' grin slid off his face like grease. The melodic beauty in his voice was wavering. He turned and then saw Marlin right in front of him. Looking at Marlin directly, he muttered just loudly enough to be audible,

"I know some of you are new here, so I, uh, will recap over the basics…"

The whole cabin groaned. They were obviously used to new people coming and having to repeat the ground work all over again. Marlin knew that he hadn't done them any favours by the dirty looks they gave him. Eros clicked his fingers and whole rows of quivers and bows materialised on the long wooden tables to the side. There were screams of delight and the entire cabin stampeded to the tables. Marlin looked in vain for Caitlin, but she had vanished. Eros cowered to the side avoiding the crowd of half-bloods. Marlin felt sorry for him. He may be a god, but he just wasn't cut out for this kind of job. It was too much stress for him, and he was the god of _love, _not the teacher of sticking sharp projectiles in peoples' limbs. Narrowly missing getting impaled on a pointy object again, someone tapped Marlin's shoulder, which freaked him out.

"Aack!"

"It's only me!" returned Caitlin, and thrust a bow and quiver into his chest, almost winding him.

"You should learn to use your initiative, Mason."

The ranks of half-bloods assembled around Eros. He scratched his forehead, which was sweating.

"Um, yes, well done children, uh, now then…." He proceeded to the range with his back to Marlin. He swung the silver bow from his shoulders with such grace, like he'd rehearsed it many times before. Marlin thought Eros would make a very good actor.

"You take the bow off your shoulders like so," he said patronizingly. He wasn't that big on the whole descriptive thing. With a delicate flick of his wrist he snatched one of the golden heart arrows from his quiver, not scraping or making any sound at all.

"You remove arrows from your stock like so," Eros told them in a matter-of-fact tone. The silken feel to his voice was returning. He was in his element.

'_Yep, he would make a good actor._' Marlin confirmed to himself. Other members of the cabin were leaning on their hands in boredom and fiddling with their bow -strings. Then Eros slid the arrow between two of his perfect fingers and like lightning notched it to his string, grinning to himself in pride. Marlin could see that it was pulled back really tightly, but the string wasn't quavering at all.

"You attach the arrow to the bow-string like so," he said, still patronizingly. Marlin had known that Eros was able to use a bow since the day he was born, he'd seen all the pictures of him when he was five years old or something and had been carrying one even then. This was peanuts to him, and it was extremely annoying. The perfectionist vibe was so obvious that it made Marlin want to hit Eros over the head with something. Eros pulled back the string even farther, took aim without even having to squint, smirked, and fired. Everyone looked up in awe as the arrow sailed smoothly across the sky, and stuck itself daintily into the bull's eye of a target, without shaking at all. By now Marlin was just dying to yell, "SHOW OFF!" but he knew that was a really stupid idea. Eros was smiling at the bewildered crowd, feeling incredibly proud of himself. Marlin made a mental promise to literally wipe the smirk off Eros' face one day.

"Now repeat the procedure I just demonstrated." Oh great. '_He thinks using words like procedure and demonstrated make him seem smarter. What a total wannabe smart alec!'_ Marlin thought

The whole cabin took their positions in the many booths in the range. Marlin followed Caitlin to an empty slot. Eros took the opportunity to stand a bit farther back from the half-bloods, his nerves returning.

"Everyone ONLY fire when I say so, so that we all fire simultaneously." It was only then that Marlin realised that he still had no idea what to do. Eros was rubbish at teaching after all. The rest of the cabin all knew how to do it so well, Caitlin had her arrow notched already and he was still wondering how to put the quiver on his back. Frantically, he swung it over his shoulders with all the grace of an elephant doing the tango, grabbed an arrow and attempted to attach it to the string. Eros' hand was about to come down.

"Ready…"

Marlin pulled it back, forgetting to extend his arm. Caitlin was taking aim, but Marlin knew fully well she realised his predicament and was deliberately not helping for her own amusement.

"Fire!" Eros yelled. About twenty-four arrows whizzed forward, all at least hitting the target. Two seconds later Marlin's arrow came and then disappointingly landed in the mud a few feet away. Eros scowled at him.

'_Oh, so you expected me to be super perfect at it after just _watching_ you, Mr.I'm-So-Brilliant-At-Everything?_'

"It appears that Mr.Mason here finds it difficult to comprehend some basic instructions." Eros said slyly. Most of the other campers sniggered. Caitlin didn't say anything. He strided forward and took Marlin's bow out of his hands. Marlin could tell Eros was enjoying taking the piss out of him.

"Must I repeat myself?"

He grabbed Marlin's quiver which was dangling lazily on his back, and swung it over his. Once again he slid an arrow out of it, notched it on the string and plucked it out, not even looking around to watch it hit the bull's eye. Eros grimaced at Marlin, and handed back his equipment. Once the god's back was turned, Marlin rolled his eyes. Caitlin seemed to agree.

Marlin knew he wasn't going to enjoy archery lessons at Camp Half-Blood.

After a whole hour of Eros patronizing him, archery was finally over.

"We have dinner now. You'll love it, seriously." Caitlin reassured him.

Marlin was sure she wasn't joking. As he noticed how dark the sky was, he remembered that he hadn't seen Murphy all this time. All of the inhabitants of the cabins filed into the commons yard. There were loads of campers.

Travis and Connor Stoll were marching along, yelling at the campers to assemble properly.

Marlin noticed Clarisse having a belching contest with her friends in cabin five, Annabeth discussing strategies with the other people in the Athena cabin, and Percy standing around looking bored, attempting conversation with a member of cabin four. Marlin was astonished at how similar the cabin four kids looked to Caitlin and him. Some of them had ginger or black hair instead of brown, but it was the eyes that said it all. And speaking of eyes, Marlin finally noticed the black haired girl standing by herself, looking longingly at the other campers. She had wild electric blue eyes, wore clothes that were rather punk or goth, and had loads of freckles. He could only assume that she was Thalia, daughter of Zeus, and the only inhabitant of cabin one. Thalia and Percy were both not meant to exist. And that made Marlin feel very guilty indeed. Finally silence dawned on the campers, and then they made their way up the hill to the mess hall pavilion. Dryads melted out of trees. Satyrs bounded across the meadows to greet the campers. Naiads emerged from the canoeing lake within the woods. At last the campers all rushed to their respective picnic tables, and once again Caitlin had to drag Marlin there. Percy and Thalia both sat down at separate tables, numbers one and three, and tried not to look at each other. Obviously they were both anticipating the titan lord Kronos to rear his ugly head at any moment now. From the paltry amount of information Marlin had received on their situation, only one of them was going to live past their sixteenth birthday, because of some huge mad prophecy made about them. Marlin made it his mission to stay as far away from the consequences when they came.

He sat down beside Caitlin and the Stoll brothers at table eleven. Marlin saw Chiron advance to the main table of the marble pavilion hall, and thumped his hoof against the floor.

"To the gods!" he yelled, raising a glass in honour. Marlin, not knowing what to do, raised a glass cautiously.

"To the gods!" the rest of the campers shouted in reply, much to his surprise.

Travis was rubbing his hands greedily when naiads and satyrs carrying platters of barbecued chicken bounced by, and Connor was eyeing the baskets of plump strawberries and cheese like a hawk. The platters of food were laid down, and then Marlin, induced by the sudden realisation he was really hungry, shovelled a slab of feta cheese, a whole swordfish and a huge spoonful of cous-cous on his plate. He was about to shove a big bite of swordfish down his throat when he noticed everyone leaving their tables and approaching the crackling bonfire in the centre of the pavilion.

"Seconds?" He asked Caitlin.

Caitlin shook her head.

"We go up and offer the best part of our meal to our immortal parent. Go on. Put some food into the fire." she said encouragingly.

"Into the fire?"

"Yep."

Marlin raised his eyebrows in disbelief. But then he saw Travis go up to the fire, and said,

"Hermes!"-and then he scraped a thick meaty barbecue rib into the fire, and the aroma was so tantalizingly delicious that Marlin finally understood what the whole thing was about. He went up, stood in the queue and awaited his turn, almost falling asleep from the tempting smells of everything yummy on the planet. Finally it was his turn. Marlin had actually no idea whose name say, so he just thought, '_Mum, whoever you are, please send me a sign or something. Thank you.'_

He threw a plump juicy russet apple into the flames, and the smell of home made cookies and macaroni and cheese wafted into the air, almost taking Marlin with it. Dreamily, he wandered absent-mindedly back to the picnic table, and crammed a chunk of swordfish and sultanas into his mouth without noticing it. Caitlin giggled as Marlin recoiled at the taste, and started to beg for a drink.

"Ask your glass for whatever you want. No alcohol though."

"Oh yeah. Naturally." He returned sarcastically. He turned to his glass, and said boldly, "Chocolate milkshake with fresh cream and cinnamon."

And to his delight the glass filled up with the dark brown beverage. Marlin took a sip, and closed his eyes in relaxation.

'_Just like Grace used to make it.'_

Chapter 2 END

AN: How did you find chapter two? Please read both chapters and tell me which one you liked better! I know it was sort of long, but that's just the way I am so get used to it. OK, you didn't find out who claimed Marlin but I decided half way to save that for chapter three. I need reviews++

Tell me about any typos or incorrect information from the books. And please don't kill me if you had Sea of Monsters spoiled for you, but you were warned….


	3. Marlin Really Screws Things Up

**Instant Hero (Just Add Water)**

By Becky Creighton 

It's sort of annoying having to constantly retype the title over and over again, but I just feel it's necessary. Anyway. This chapter is when the storyline actually STARTS. Note that there is some violence in the melee training bit, so all those prone to fainting and swooning please go away. Due to a review, the description of Percy has changed slightly. So think longer hair, not shorter. I made up the description of celestial bronze, because I wanted it to look different from ordinary bronze, and for Marlin to have a recollection about someone…Thanks go to bloomingauthor7 and once again tigster5 for their support. I love you all. And by the way, you'll notice that this chapter is slightly ruder than the other ones. Please do not be offended.

Disclaimer: I don't own Percy Jackson, but if I did, I would be the coolest person ever. For now, Rick Riordan is. You should know that by now. I also don't own Oreos, Twinkies, or any other of the copyrighted foods or things I mention. So please don't sue me. And I am not making money from this, as much as I'd like to.

Chapter 3: Marlin Really Screws Things Up 

"Yo sleepy head get up!"

Marlin yawned. Then Caitlin threw a shoe at him.

"Ow! What the heck was that for?"

"You would sleep through the Trojan War if you could. You should've seen yourself, sleeping like a little baby, clutching your pillow….That milkshake must've done something to you!"

Marlin scowled at her. She merely giggled at his annoyed expression. He got up, stretched, and then finally noticed the lack of campers around him.

"Where did everyone go?"

"To the forges. C'mon!"

"The _forges_?" he asked, but Caitlin had dashed out of the cabin before she could reply. He chased after her, almost tripping on the assortment of sleeping bags on the way out. She was really fast, and Marlin struggled to keep up with her. Before he could say "Wait up!", he was tired. He stopped to catch his breath, which was running out just as fast as Caitlin ran out of the cabin. She was gone. And he had no idea where to go. Looking frantically around for someone to ask for directions, his eyes fell on Annabeth. Something inside his soul sighed and fell over backwards.

"Ummm, excuse me…"

Annabeth turned around, met his eyes, and then frowned.

"Oh. It's you."

"Uh, yeah, er, uh, well, um, the thing is, eh, you see, errrr.."

"What?" she asked, sensing the hopelessness in his voice. The little butterflies in Marlin's stomach danced and fluttered about as if they'd all drunk obscene amounts of coffee.

"Er, well…" Then he took a deep breath and spluttered out, "OhfortheloveofZeuswherearethefrickin'forgessandbythewayyoulookhotandIwannagooutwithyoubutI'matotalloserwhodoesn'tevenknowwherthefrickin'forgesare!!"

Annabeth blinked at him. Marlin hoped to Hades that she hadn't heard all that once he himself had come to terms with his sanity again.

"The forges?" she grabbed him by the shoulders, turned him and shoved him forward, pointing past his ears and stroked his neck flirtatiously for a moment, "that way." Marlin almost died in shock. Absent-mindedly, he sprang forwards, unknown to him that Annabeth was sniggering to herself at his uselessness.

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Marlin finally arrived at the forges, still day dreaming about his encounter with Annabeth. He spied Chiron leaning over an anvil and whacking something really hard like a piñata, and sparks flew everywhere. The centaur stopped, removed his goggles (which looked really silly on him by the way) and waved at him, which was rather pointless because there was more smoke, fumes and heat in the room than a Victorian factory.

"Ho there, Marlin! Come on in! Here I will teach you the ways of the blacksmith!"

Marlin saw that he was not joking. Kids younger than him were forging their own battle equipment, yet the only thing he'd manage to achieve in Technology and Design at school was a bird feeder made of plastic. As he made his way through the steam congested room, a girl of about eight years old was hammering away at a battleaxe, plunged it into a bucket of freezing cold water, and screamed in delight at her creation. Marlin declared this as his most Strangest Experience Ever, but soon this would be over taken by some other things that will happen throughout this story. Caitlin looked up from her anvil, and called over to him.

"You've finally arrived!"

"I got lost.." Marlin mumbled feebly.

"Marlin!" Chiron called. "Meet me over here. I need to teach you how to smelt celestial bronze."

So then Marlin changed his mind about his previous Strangest Experience Ever, and decided that being told how to make a sacred metal by a centaur was profoundly more odd than seeing an eight year old smith her own battleaxe. The whole process involved mining your own tin and copper from the huge reserves of the stuff in a pit near the camp, plus a strange, godly and bloody heavy material called orichalcum. Marlin was nearly crying out for energy afterwards. Then you had to haul your ores in a bag all the way back to the furnace. Marlin narrowly avoided getting ambushed by Clarisse on the way. Then you had chuck it all into the forge, and jab at it several times with a poker until you got your metal. The knack was not to burn your fingers off. Next he had to select a mould for his weapon. It was rather hard to get the best moulds, because all the smaller campers and Hermes' kids weaved their way through the crowds and snatched them out of his hands before he could complain, so he was left with a template for a claymore, which, according to the other campers, was the most difficult weapon to use, never mind master. As Marlin poured his liquid metal into the mould, he marvelled at its beauty. It was indeed bronze, but the wonders of orichalcum made it set immediately. Slightly amber and pearlized, and when Marlin turned it, the light made it look… purplish-blue? Something in his mind rung a bell. The same colour of Grace's eyes. He swallowed, and put it at the back of his head. He had to make sure that when he swung the thing the handle wouldn't fall off and land on his toe next. But he was too tired to even think or organize his thoughts, so he stole a look at what Caitlin was doing.

"What's that?"

"Buckler." She snapped.

Marlin paused. "What are you so annoyed about?"

"Never you mind, Mason. Ha, Mason! How coincidental."

"No really, what's wrong?"

Caitlin inhaled, and then gave him a look that told him she was about to explode, with timer attached. "If you really must know, my whole project has gone pear-shaped! Literally!" She held up her buckler with such force that Marlin thought she was going to whack him in the face with it and prepared to duck. Indeed, the shield had a noticeable egg shape to it.

"Uh, hey, it's not too bad…It could be, like, the first kite-buckler…"

Marlin knew that if he said anything else Caitlin's fuse box would short circuit and blow, but fortunately for him Chiron interrupted.

"Ah yes, well done Marlin, for your first attempt. Any idea what you're going to call your blade?"

"Call my sword? You mean people here give names to these things?"

"Oh yes."

Marlin turned the claymore over in his hands. It was much heavier than he had anticipated, yet it was a one handed blade. As he saw the sword in its purplish-blue hue in the light, a name began to form in his mind….And then he decided against it. It would only bring back memories. Which was something he did not want at all, but Marlin knew for a fact that the longer he stayed in Camp Half-Blood, the more it would grow in his mind.

"I'll think about it."

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His next class was foot running. While Chiron, Caitlin, the Stoll brothers, the dryads(in tree form) and several other campers who were definitely cut out for long distance sprinting outstripped him, Marlin was left to choke on their dust, sometimes quite literally. You know those bits in cartoons, where the characters are running away from the villain, and their legs seem to spin round like windmills and leave huge clouds? Well it was sort of like that to Marlin. After running was lunch, for which Marlin was extremely grateful for. Okay, it may have been grapes, olives and some strangely shaped bread which had the consistency of granite, but he found himself getting ravenous more often and his thoughts were filled with images of oreos and twinkies. What concerned him more was Murphy's absence. He had not seen him all day, not even at lunch, and he hadn't seen him after his meeting with Dionysus yesterday. Perhaps something had happened to him…Marlin decided to put it out of mind, but if he did, more oreos would appear and mentally starve him even more. Some of his questions would be answered at the melee combat session.

That day the Hermes cabin was to train against the Demeter cabin. They didn't look much. Not nearly as muscular as the Ares cabin, not as wise as Athena's brood, and certainly not as cunning as the Hermes' cabin, but they seemed rather nimble, flexible, and unpredictable. Marlin could almost imagine all five of them charging around him, ever advancing and _growing _like the roots of a tree. He figured in numbers these people could overwhelm someone very easily. His cabin arrived first in the area; a small, spacious clean clearing in the woods, lined with stone seats for spectators, and a whole dragons hoard of an armoury somewhere in the corner. It was a haven to the study of killing things. Perfect. Finally the residents of cabin four poured into the arena. The tallest, who was even lankier than Travis and Connor, approached them first. He had greasy long jet black hair, and was in possession of green eyes that shone like traffic lights. There was also an array of randomly placed freckles on his face, and a single small hoop dangled from his left ear, studded with red and green gems. His necklace, similar to the ones owned by most of the campers, had five beads on it. He'd been here almost as long as Annabeth. An infinite supply of happiness was hidden behind his eyes; Marlin could tell. Or maybe it was the huge, Hollywood style smile he was wearing that gave it away.

" 'Sup, man?"

"Everything's cool, Vince. We've got ourselves a new camper. Say hi to Vince Sawyer, Marlin!" Connor replied brightly, poking Marlin in the back. Marlin smiled weakly back. He knew that Connor didn't like this guy much, almost as if he was pretending to be polite. Vince looked oddly at Marlin for a second, trying to find out everything about him from one look.

"Uh, yeah, hi Vince."

"Sweet blade you got. Claymore, is it?" Vince chimed.

"Yeah. Kinda weird though.."

"Don't worry about it, man. We'll get you swinging that sword in no time!" He turned around, and yelled like a fog horn, "Hey guys! Let's get a fight going on here already!"

There were some cries of delight, and four other campers came dashing from the armoury. All possessed the same glowing green eyes as Vince, Caitlin and Marlin himself. Marlin was now permanently creeped out. They were all much younger than Vince, perhaps about thirteen or fourteen years old, with the exception of a sixteen year old guy who was chewing gum like it was going out fashion. Marlin noticed that all of them were wearing the same red and green hoop on their ears. Vince looked for a moment at both Caitlin and him, and then muttered something inaudible. Five minutes later practice began. And for about two hours, it was the first time that Marlin had actually enjoyed his time at Camp Half-Blood, even though he once nearly skewered Caitlin. He never got to say sorry, because she had slapped him, which was suitable enough, he decided later.

"Right folks, Vince and I are gonna do a little demonstration…" Connor announced. He gave a small lightning quick scowl at Vince, which seemingly no one noticed except Marlin. Once both warriors had donned their armour, which Connor had done with great gusto, both strided into the centre. Vince's weapon was a spear, the only other one in the camp apart from Clarisse's. Another camper had whispered to Marlin that Connor hated Vince's guts, and before Marlin could ask why, the demonstration began. It started so suddenly and ferociously, and then both warriors had apparently forgotten it was a demonstration. Vince lunged, making a beeline for Connor's torso. He quickly rolled out of the way, with such agility too, and Marlin was left wondering for days how the heck he could've done it in full armour; Connor slashed at Vince's legs with his gladius, which Vince avoided by bending out of the way like an elastic band. He thrusted downwards, aiming for Connor's head, and then Connor swung up his shield instinctively. There was a horrible denting sound, and loads of sparks spewed everywhere. Connor slashed at Vince's spear, effectively knocking it out of the way, and was about to stab him before Vince ducked, which was almost like doing the splits. Vince brought his spear round again in a huge arc, clanging against Connor's armour and was about to turn him into a kebab until Connor back-flipped. Marlin was now totally engrossed in the battle; this was better than all the martial arts movies he'd done nothing but watch all last summer. He now had an insatiable urge for popcorn. Even the Athena cabin, who were supposed to be training now, sat down and analysed the battle. Annabeth observed the duel with most interest, taking off her Yankee's cap to get a better view. Just when Connor was about to swing his sword and chop Vince's head off, a voice yelled,

"ENOUGH!" Both combatants turned around, halting. The audience broke into silence. It was Chiron.

"Shit." Vince muttered. The centaur galloped to the scene, not looking like the sort of person who would hand out free lolly pops at all. He had crossed his arms, and gave menacing looks at both Connor and Vince.

"You should both be ashamed with yourselves! Can't you both just get over the past and make life at camp enjoyable for everyone for once?"

"It was _my _quest!" Connor spluttered out.

"_I _ was the one who received the Ora;" Vince yelled back.

"Enough! All that is over and done with! This is a _training session,_ not a war zone. There is enough bad things happening outside camp as it is, and we do not need even more bitterness at this time…" Chiron looked directly at Annabeth for a split second. She just bit her lips in anxiety.

"Everyone, melee training is over. You may return to your cabins. I do not want anything like this ever happening again. _Is that clear?_" Chiron boomed, staring at Vince and Connor.

"Yeah.." Vince murmured. Connor merely just nodded. Both the Demeter and Hermes cabins filed out of the arena, and the Athena kids jumped down off the seats into the middle.

"What the heck was all that about?" Marlin whimpered to Caitlin, still in awe at the battle.

"About three years ago, sometime after all that summer solstice business with Percy, Vince came across a strange box on the beach. He showed it to Chiron, who confirmed that it was the fabled Pandora's Box, which had long ago unleashed all the evils in the world. Chiron suggested that the following day he should ask the Oracle what to do with it, but then the next morning it was stolen. Vince blamed Connor, because he'd been with him when he found the box, and they had squabbled over it. They had been best friends then. The next day Chiron and several members of the Hermes cabin found the box hidden in Connor's bed. Connor denied stealing it, but said that he had found it first when he'd seen it with Vince. But no one believed him, and Vince got the quest to return it to Hephaestus. Connor has hated him ever since."

"Whoa."

"That's what being a half-blood can do to you, Marlin. Immortal families are very fickle things, rife with jealousy. And's not everyday that someone gets a quest here. Out there's where you find out if you're up to scratch."

"And I thought my dad's family was screwed up. Did Connor really steal it?"

Caitlin shrugged. "No one knows. Some people think that someone who hated both Vince and Connor planted it in Connor's room to make them turn against each other."

"What sort of asshole would do that?" Marlin exclaimed.

"I don't know, Marlin. Nearly everyone here has another side to them."

Marlin shuddered, because when Caitlin said that, she stared right at him, and Marlin knew that he could no longer trust everyone.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Where are we next?"

"At the strawberry fields."

Marlin stopped. Caitlin turned around and frowned at him.

"What?" she asked. "What are you waiting for? C'mon!"

Marlin finally shook his head. "Uh, sorry." He mumbled. "I sorta spaced out there."

Caitlin rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Let's go."

Marlin nodded, and then said, "Say, where has Murphy gone to all day…"

Caitlin paused. "How did you know my satyr is Murphy?"

Both of them exchanged glances. "Wow," Marlin replied, "He's mine as well."

'Yeah, I haven't seen him either."

Silence.

"You don't suppose he's gone off on his third assignment, do you?" Caitlin mused.

"Perhaps. But all the satyrs who are here look kinda on edge."

"Indeed. Rumour has it that something big with the satyrs has gone down…"

At last they reached the strawberry fields. Once Marlin set his eyes on it, his heart became heavy with memories. Two satyrs were there, waiting for them, and they did look rather solemn as they played the pan-pipes. The rest of the campers didn't seem to find the whole episode particulary endearing, but once Marlin picked up the watering can and slipped on his gloves, everything made sense. He bounded towards the plants, smiling like he'd found a long lost friend, which in a way, he had. Then he began to whistle as pristine water trickled out of the can, and at that some of the campers turned around and started pointing at him. Or rather, pointing at the strawberry bush he was watering. Although he didn't notice it, the leaves were glowing green as his whistling melded with the satyrs' music, and small rainbows were crossing over the water as it cascaded out. The fruits were blood red, multiplying steadily and giving out an eerie light, and Marlin, somehow in a daze, put down his can, gently plucked one of them off, and popped it into his mouth.

"Say, does anyone have any cream to go with this?"

No one said anything. Not even Caitlin made a comment, and she wasn't interested in the strawberries, but rather the floating icon of the Earth that was hovering over both her and Marlin's heads. She pointed, slowly, up at it.

"Umm, Chiron…" she quavered, absent mindedly, lost in her own thoughts.

Marlin finally broke out of his spell, and saw the symbol above his own head. "How the heck did that get there?"

Chiron trotted forward, and smiled softly. The other campers started bowing, much to Marlin's amazement.

"Demeter. Lady of all that is living, Servant to Gaia. Hail Marlin Mason and Caitlin Valentine, Children of the Earth."

And then there was a screech.

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Marlin spun around in alarm. He hadn't fully registered what Chiron had just said, but what he did notice was the flying, ugly and mean thing that was about to rip him into shreds.

"AAAAAAAH!!!" he yelled with all the capacity that his lungs would hold.

The thing hissed and stretched its talons, homing for his neck. Marlin threw himself onto the ground and scrabbled around for his still name-less sword. The thing crash landed into the strawberry bush he had been watering, and sprang up, looking really pissed off now, and had a mouthful of strawberries. Marlin was slightly disturbed by the fact that the juice looked like blood. Caitlin unsheathed her sword, and a couple of other people armed with trowels, daggers and some other swords tried to jump on top of the aggressor while Marlin got to grips with his claymore. The monster punched out wildly at Travis and winded him but the guy was as tough as nails and slashed back. The thing withdrew and tripped over a rake and fell on top of Marlin, which was a really bad situation to be in. It licked its lips, grabbed him around the throat, (and for a split second Marlin had the eeriest feeling of déjà vu), digged its nails into his neck and was going to thrust its claws into his eyeballs before a spear was driven right into its hand. Marlin looked up once he'd finished closing his eyes and saw Clarisse, smiling like a homicidal maniac. The thing wailed in pain and lunged upwards, taking several campers with it as it attempted to fly away. They all fell down, grappling and tearing at the wings. It writhed around and screeched in irritation as they pinned it to the floor, and then Marlin took his claymore and plunged it right into the monster's heart. There was a horrible, brief gurgle and then it vanished into a puff of dust, Buffy the Vampire Slayer style. Everyone collapsed to the ground in exhaustion and disbelief, leaning on their sword handles and lying down, eating the strawberries that hadn't been destroyed. Marlin was the only one not on the floor, and saw Caitlin looking right at him, and then he saw that all traces of the hopeless, forever waiting girl gone.

"So what were you saying?" And for the life of him he couldn't recall what.

Then he noticed the blood that was running from his neck and fainted.

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He woke up in cabin four. He had no idea why, but he had vague recollections of Chiron saying something about Demeter, Caitlin looking a bit weird, and finally knowing what Grace had felt like when she---

Marlin sat up in his bed immediately, determined not to let it take over him.

'_Who are you kidding, Marlin? You can never get away from it now.'_

He became aware of several faces looking at him. It was only then that he remembered the names to the faces; Vince, Caitlin, Chiron, Percy, Clarisse, Travis. He blinked, and then the searing pain in his throat kicked in.

"Wow, you're actually alive. Jeez, I guess you're not the pansy I thought you were. You'll avoid the toilets this time, Mason, but don't feel so sure after this." Clarisse stomped out of the room at that, leaving Marlin feeling even more disoriented and freaked out.

"Yes, Clarisse is right. Not many people survive getting clawed in the neck by a Kindly One." Chiron commented.

"Kindly One?" Marlin rasped. "You mean a Fury?"

"Don't say its name!" Travis and Vince snapped in unison, widening their eyes as if the whole world was just about to explode or something.

"Yeah, a Kindly One. I think you just had an encounter with our old friend Mrs.Dodds." Percy added. Marlin hadn't really noted his presence up until that moment. But he could've sworn there was a smell of the sea somewhere…

"Mrs. Dodds?" he croaked. "What the hell are you talking about…"

"Long story."

"And Chiron…What were you saying about….Demeter?"

"To put it bluntly, Marlin, Demeter is your mother."

That fact should've knocked him sideways. But he was in pain, and in a bed, so falling sideways was not an option he wanted to take, and he had fallen sideways several times already. Oddly enough, the first thought that he had that day which made any kind of sense was, '_So that means I'm related to Vince?'_

"And Caitlin was also claimed by Demeter. From now on, you'll be staying in cabin four."

"Yep," Percy chipped in, "Next door to me."

This time it _did _knock him sideways, and very slowly Marlin rolled out of bed, right on to the floor which had a sort of grass texture to it.

"Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhh……" he moaned.

Vince sniggered slightly, and both he and Caitlin rushed to lift him up.

"Marlin, you are not to participate in any camp activities until your neck heals up. For now, your…siblings will help you get back to health. I have a very bad feeling about this incident…" Chiron looked at Percy anxiously, and he seemed to understand.

Chiron, Percy and Travis all left the room. But then Travis stopped in his tracks, turned around, and then making sure Vince had gone away, ran back.

"Oh yeah, Marlin, Caitlin…" He gazed downward at the floor, guiltily. "Connor isn't too happy with both of you right now, seeing that you're related to…Vince." Travis scratched his forehead miserably. "Don't worry, I have nothing against either of you, it's just that I would steer clear of him for now if I were you. He's had a very bad day."

"It's not your fault, Travis." Caitlin said.

"I just hope you understand about this whole…thing. And I'm sorry. Just…forget about it. Chiron's right. We can still work together, and maybe Connor will understand too."

"It's okay, Travis." Marlin said. "The past is bull-shit, anyway."

And then all three of them nodded at Marlin's infinitely supreme logic. Travis left without another word. Caitlin smiled amiably at Marlin.

"I've never had a brother before."

"And I've never had sister who asked rhetorical questions before."

Caitlin's smile transformed into a frown and an eye rolling.

"Yes, I'm going to have great fun living with you, Marlin."

Marlin chortled, and then the door burst open and he met the rest of the clan.

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Several weeks passed with out much event. Marlin had really began to enjoy life at Camp Half-Blood with his new family, who were a rather eccentric and lively bunch. There was Natascha, the pro orchid grower and a motor-mouth, and who had enough freckles to cover the moon. She was also a total bitch; Vince had told Marlin that once Natascha kicked a guy up the nuts just because his arrows fell out of his quiver beside her. Thesi, otherwise known as Theseus, was the guy who Marlin had noticed chewed gum all the time. His hair was fair, but with glowing blonde streaks, making it blindly obvious he'd bleached it. Thesi had the personality of a sloth; didn't notice anything, and was too slow to realise it but was mainly concerned with himself. And usually talked only in mono-syllables. But he liked death metal, so he and Thalia were great buddies. Of course there was Vince, the oldest in the group. Living with him had unveiled his less desirable aspects; Marlin discovered that Vince never put anything back where he got it, kicked his shoes across the room, used other peoples' toothbrushes and never made his bed. He was also a bit of a fantasist too; Marlin once caught him lip-syncing into his comb to a song by Limp Biskit, who were clearly Vince's genre of choice. Marlin swore that if he ever heard another verse of Keep Rollin' one more time, he'd commit seppeku. And Karmen was another lovely person as well. Dazzling curly brown locks that had a length that could put Rapunzel to shame. She specialized in growing hybrids and bonsais, put there was nothing much in between; Karmen was a complete air-head. She could put down something, come and look for it about two minutes later, and then manage to forget where she left it down, what it was she put down and why she needed it again. Amazing. Marlin sometimes watched her for his own amusement. Matthias was probably the smartest in the cabin. Spiky ginger hair, brain the size of the planet, temper of a god. But above everything else he liked to grow things, loved nature and adored eating loads and loads of strawberries so Marlin got on well with him. Whenever Matthias got even slightly annoyed, he would throw one of his famous tantrums which always, _always_, ended up with him chucking a book at either a wall or Thesi, sometimes both. And finally, last but not least, was Caitlin. She pored over magazines and texts which were curiously wrote in ancient Greek. The others teased her about this (except for Matthias, who would occasionally steal them for his own studying), but Caitlin simply ignored them, and made some witty comment and they would all shut up. Her introduction to the cabin had been somewhat of a shock to them all. In comparison, she was so sensible and logical. Marlin had tried not to think what the Demeter cabin had been like before she arrived, and had came to the conclusion that it had been a very insane place indeed. She also had a soft spot for chocolates and sweet things, which Marlin began to suspect were the reason for her hyperness and super-human reflexes. Caitlin had been assigned to check the progress of Marlin's wound ever since the attack, which Marlin was very thankful for, as he wouldn't trust any of the others with his health any day. Then there was himself. Marlin. Including him that made a group of seven siblings. He sighed in relief, knowing that he would never have to be alone again. His neck had healed a lot; Percy had done something amazing with water, he couldn't really remember what, but whenever he turned sharply it felt like someone was slicing his head off with a cheese wire. Marlin sat on the edge of his bed, which was sort of ye olde country style, and had a soft fluffy duvet covered in pictures of vegetables. He pondered his new siblings for a while, and then thought about the actual incident itself, and why Chiron had looked so anxious and perplexed by the whole thing. Suddenly, an explosion of footsteps erupted at the entrance to the cabin.

"Marlin!" Natascha cried in glee, her pink tinted pigtails bobbing up and down like a bouy at sea. Marlin craned his head round, and then immediately regretted it.

"Owwwwwwwwwwww….." he gurgled, and raised his hand up slowly to twist his head the right way again, stalling at the pain.

"Ouch! Don't push yourself, Marly." Natascha consoled him.

"Marly?" he whimpered in despair. "Sounds like some sort of breakfast cereal."

"Tee hee! No it isn't! It's our new nickname for you! We're currently trying to think of something more imaginative, but Marly will do for now."

"Nicknames?…" Marlin whined again.

"Oh yeah! I'm Treacle Muffin, Vince is Tony Hawk, Thesi is, well, Thesi, Karmen is Space Cadet, Matty is Angry Little Rottweiler and Caitlin is Miss Matter-of-Fact. And you're Marly." Natascha explained.

"Yeah." Marlin replied. "Makes total sense."

"Oh yeah, by the way, Mr. E wanted to see you! That's why I'm here!"

"Uuuunnnh." Marlin groaned. "Another supplementary archery lesson?"

"No, something different. He says it's important, but he wouldn't tell me what. I would go pretty soon, if I were in your shoes, which by the way are simply fabulous, Marly! See ya!"

Marlin looked uneasily down at his shoes, which were Converse trainers Travis had…acquired for him. Somehow his wound had made him better at archery rather than worse. Not being able to move his head much had made his aim better, which had thoroughly impressed Eros and had began to give him separate lessons to improve on it, much to Marlin's disdain who had decided from day one that he couldn't care less about archery. And what troubled him now was Murphy. Ever since his second day Marlin hadn't seen him once. He had learnt that he was in fact on his third and final assignment, but no-one had ever taken this long to bring a possible hero to Long Island. The satyrs were uneasy about it too, nervous for their friend. More than once Marlin overheard them saying things like, 'Chronos is here. I can feel it.' and, 'The sun god? That's what they're saying at Olympus.' And whenever they found out he was eavesdropping they would bleat loudly at him and panic a little, driving the plants nuts and generally made them slightly bitter tasting. Marlin reviewed briefly in his head the situation he was in and frowned as Natascha bounded out of the cabin. He got up, looked around him to make sure Mrs. Dodds or another monster wasn't going to jump on him or trip on a rake and break his neck, and then set off towards the archery range, moaning to himself.

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There he found Eros waiting for him. Although having to teach loads of angry teenagers ranged combat every day had stressed his mind and flattened it like a pancake, Eros looked slightly….different today. Ah. That was why. Marlin noticed that for once his hair wasn't clogged with sweat and dirt and his clothes were clean and pressed, and there was a genuine smile on his face, not the nervous ones he gave whenever he was teaching. In fact, he looked almost exactly the way he'd been when Marlin first met him. Waxed hair, and skin like a sculpted statue. Pure, in other words.

"You've finally arrived. Now then, let's get started…" Eros' voice had reclaimed the musical twang it had, smooth as silk and flowing and liquid as…Belgian chocolate milkshake. Marlin didn't know how he thought of that similie, but it was what it reminded him of.

"So what did you need me for, sir?"

"You do know I'm the god of love, right?"

Marlin paused. For all this time he'd simply known him as Mr.E the archery teacher, but he had forgotten that he was also Cupid. It was amazing how much about a person could change if you just gave them another name.

"Um, yes?"

"Well I need to talk to you about that."

Marlin stalled. "Uhhh, what about, er, that?"

"You know perfectly well what I'm trying to talk to you about!"

"Not really, sir…"

"Annabeth, idiot!" Eros exclaimed. "I've known all along what you think of her. And so does my mother, who's getting very excited about it."

'_How the hell did he know?' _ Marlin thought dumbstruck.

"How the hell I knew? Oh a couple of godly powers here, and some experience there, and it sort of adds up." Marlin stood perfectly still. Eros gave a really broad grin, happy at his success at completely freaking him out.

"Don't worry Marlin, your secret's safe with me. And I'm going to give you some advice. One, don't act like an idiot. Two, be nice to her. And three, save her life at least once. Always works with the ladies. Until you do some of those things and generally be the romantic guy, I won't fire an arrow through her heart. It's always more fun that way."

Marlin wanted to throw up all over his hair-do and push him off a cliff, not necessarily in that order. Eros had dragged him all the way out here just to scare him, patronize him, read his mind, patronize him some more and give him a pep-talk about girls because apparently he was so much better at this sort of thing than he was. Great. He could no longer think about killing him, because Eros could then read his mind and then kill _him,_ very easily and painfully.

"So how about we get on with some archery?"

"M-my equipment is in-in the c-cabin, sir…."

"Don't worry about that. You can use mine."

Marlin was shocked. Usually Eros was very touchy about his bow; if anyone even laid so much of a finger on it he often went into a huge huff and threatened to bring the harpies over. Marlin felt up and down along its side. It was ivory, and carved into it with extreme detail were hearts, battles and the faces of all the gods. It looked so life-like that Marlin could've sworn that he saw the picture of Demeter smile at him.

"Go on," Eros encouraged, "You can use my arrows too."

The fabled golden arrows of yore, which could make anyone fall in love in an instant. Marlin suddenly was tempted to— Then he decided that that was a bad idea.

"Thinking of shooting Annabeth, hm?" Eros inquired.

"No no no, uh, just a passing, um, something…" Marlin quibbled.

Eros gave a little laugh. He clearly hadn't convinced him that he had dropped the idea. Marlin gently took an arrow out of the quiver which was silver and had little wings on it. It didn't scratch or scrape against the other arrows as he lifted it. Gracefully, he attached it to the string, taut and powerful as an ox. He took aim, and focused entirely on the spot, the bull's-eye—and then just at the moment when he thought, '_Screw this, you're rubbish at archery and you know it.'_, his concentration lapsed and the arrow flew miles away, over the target, out of the range and into the woods. Then there was a small, high-pitched scream, and then silence. Eros and Marlin exchanged looks, and then bolted like mad into the forest. As they ran, Eros called out, "I think you hit someone, Marlin. Not good, not good at all…."

Then, as they neared the area where the struck person lay, Marlin saw a flash of honey blonde hair, a Yankees cap, and a golden arrow….

'_OH MY GOD.' _ He thought. '_I've just killed Annabeth.'_

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Marlin trembled in horror at the sight of her. He was too afraid to go forward, too ashamed and buried in his own guilt, heartbroken. He didn't even blink, just stood there with his mouth hanging out. Eros walked towards Annabeth's uncannily relaxed body. Marlin noticed that he changed somehow. He was strolling lanquidly over, like he done it so many times before, like he had rehearsed it, expected it, _wanted _it—made it happen. He crouched down beside her gracefully, lifted her hand like she was a piece of delicate china, and removed the arrow, without leaving any blood or signs of injury or anything, yet she'd been hit in the _heart_. Very slowly, Annabeth opened her grey eyes dreamily.

"Wha?" she yawned. Eros placed a finger on her lips, staring into her eyes, into her mind.

"Are you all right, mi'lady?" he asked, with the same acted feel. Annabeth, now fully awake, simply looked right back at him, enchanted. Marlin now knew why it appeared so clichéd. It was as if the whole scene had been lifted from a movie or something, that's what the arrow did to its target. Eros took her hand, kissed it, and then put his hands around her and pulled her towards him. Annabeth didn't fight back or anything, she was under his spell, and then he kissed her right on the lips. Marlin broke apart at that very moment, that scheming bastard Eros had planned it out from the very beginning, and he had been drawn into it and now he was screwed. He had screwed up everything now. His eyes welled up with tears, and then yelled, "You asshole! Now look what you've done! Chronos is going to;"

Eros and Annabeth stopped. The god of love turned around, loaded up his bow with lightning speed, and very quickly Marlin realised that it was not one of the gold ones, but an actual, sharp, deadly and very real arrow, which he fired right into Marlin's torso. Marlin clutched the arrow, croaked, the last thing he saw was Eros flying away carrying Annabeth with him, and then he collapsed in a puddle of his own blood.

Chapter 3 _END_

AN: I love cliffhangers! I would eat them everyday for breakfast covered in maple syrup if I could, but sadly this is not the case. I hope you love the members of the Demeter cabin as much as I do, so please tell me who your favourite one is! I need reviews like life needs oxygen. 


	4. Percy Assembles An Army

**Instant Hero (Just Add Water)**

By Becky Creighton 

Disclaimer: I don't own Metallica, Trivium or (cough) Justin Timberlake. Or any of the chain-stores mentioned.

Sorry for the huge delay to get this chapter done. There was just so much I had to do; I never had time for it. But anyway…

Many thanks to everyone who reviewed and thoughtfully added this to their favourites list. Any suggestions for what Marlin's sword should be called would be most welcome. I can't think of anything … I was going to call it _Grace Bringer _or _Amazing Grace _but they're too long and….unsword-like. But anyway, this chapter sees the beginning of some actual story progression. Enjoy reading….

Chapter 4: The Chapter That Was Supposed To Be Chapter 4 But Is Actually Chapter 5 

Not only had Marlin officially lost his mind, but he had lost Annabeth as well. As he gradually opened his eyes, the world seemed to swirl around him like a huge merry-go-round. Images from his life leapt into his memory; Manhattan Middle School, Murphy, Percy Jackson, Grace, Demeter, Camp Half-Blood….and then leapt out again. Each thing was just a spoonful in the great soup of life…And so Marlin tried to once again go back to sleep, attempting to combine it all together again, throwing the right ingredients into the pot of the Universe. As the ladle of sanity stirred reality back to where it was, Marlin shovelled a load of it into his soul, and found himself lying on a bed in cabin four, in a situation eerily similar to one he'd been in before, but couldn't quite remember…

'_Right Marlin, enough philosophising. Get your ass out of bed.'_

Marlin moaned at the sudden knowledge that he was in possession of a killer migraine. His brain had been frazzled or torched; someone had put petrol all over it and threw a match on top. His eyes were like lead, he couldn't wrench them open for good, because he just wanted to go back, far back, way back in time…and being awake now wasn't going to help.

"I see you're having difficulty regaining consciousness."

"What the heck?"

"It's only me, Marlin. This is the second time in a row you've been wounded and ended up here. I think we can figure out a new nickname for you…"

Marlin squinted and saw Matthias at the end of his bed.

"Help me Matt; I'm philosophising about soup."

"Soup?" Matthias questioned. "You are seriously losing it, Marlin." He grinned, revealing his slightly yellowed teeth. Too many strawberries, obviously.

"Chiron wants to interrogate you about Mr.E. That arrow was poisoned a bit… It's a good thing the Golden Fleece is still here."

"Golden Fleece?"

And at that moment Chiron, Thalia and Percy walked in, followed by Vince, Caitlin, Karmen, Thesi and Natascha. They all looked rather grim, and Natascha was chewing her fingernails like a chipmunk, which really shocked Marlin because she was obsessed with her nails.

"Marlin, we need to know exactly what happened. For all we know, this could be the first phase of Kronos' plan." Percy said. Marlin took a deep breath, and pretty much told them everything.

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"Yeah. Eros has got Annabeth. That's really what the gist of it is…" But there was no way he was going to tell them he'd fired the arrow. Or what he and Eros had discussed. Percy would hate him for eternity.

Percy started to bite his lips. Thalia buried her head into her hands.

"This is not good, not good at all…" she mumbled. Marlin felt a pang of wretchedness. Thalia had been a tree for about five or six years, all her friends were now considerably older, Metallica had now loads more albums she would have to buy, Luke was now a double-crossing asshole, she wasn't meant to exist, and now this. She hadn't got a smooth ride at all. Every person was engaged in his or her own woes, until the silence was broken.

"Well, what the hell are we waiting for?" Percy roared. "That jerk Eros has got Annabeth! Let's hunt him down!"

"Percy, you shouldn't make such rash decisions." Vince commented.

"I know, I know," Percy retorted, "But if we don't do something now, nothing will get done."

"Aye." Said a small rough voice at the back. They all turned around and saw that it was Thesi who had spoken. He raised his eyebrows in delight, now that he had their attention.

"Let's bust heads!" He cried. To Marlin's surprise, Karmen nodded.

"I agree with Thesi! I want a quest!"

"You would forget what the objective was as soon as you left camp, Space Cadet!" Natascha sneered.

"Why you;" Karmen shaked her fist, and then chanted, "QUEST QUEST QUEST! QUEST QUEST QUEST!! QUEST QUEST QUEST!!!"

And before Marlin could bat an eyelid the whole Demeter cabin, except himself and Vince, were now caught up in Karmen's protest. Even Thalia, who had been deprived of adventure for a long time, was now joining in.

"Enough!" Chiron yelled. All of the cheering campers promptly shut up. "Yes, we have already made it clear that immediate action will be necessary. More importantly is the situation that we are now in."

"What do you mean?" Caitlin quizzed.

"Dear child, do you know who Mr.E's parents are?"

"Um, Aphrodite and Ares?"

"Yes." Chiron nodded sagely, "But I wouldn't go throwing around those names if I were you. What that means is that both deities are now against Athena, this being demonstrated by Annabeth's kidnapping. The gods are already taking sides."

"Taking sides?" Percy asked, dreading the answer.

"It appears so. But it is only making what is to follow happen faster. The gods know of the Titan Lord's growing strength and ambition, and are now making pre-emptive moves to see if they can sway the flow of power to different sides. And Nature, I'm afraid, Marlin, will have to suffer for it."

Marlin gulped, and felt his eyes begin to swell with tears. He'd only been here several weeks, and for the first time in a very long while he had been genuinely happy. And now, just like that, it was all going to be taken away, along with the rest of world, a world he'd probably never get to set eyes on. His mind exploded somewhere along the line.

"THEN WHAT THE HELL ARE WE WAITING FOR?!?!?" He yelled. Marlin threw himself out of bed to face his audience of shocked half bloods. "I'm not about to let these weirdoes blow up the planet without having a say in it first!"

"YES!" the whole cabin replied.

Chiron frowned, heaved a sigh, and then finally said in defeat, "It will be no easy undertaking. Marlin, you will have to meet the Oracle tomorrow and receive this quest. As much as I want to stop you getting involved in this mess, the circumstances leave me no choice."

"We need an army. A big one." Percy announced. Thesi's face lit up at the mention of army.

"And just how are we going to do that, Seaweed Brain?" Thalia teased. Percy looked fondly at his watch, tapped it thoughtfully, and then looked up.

"You'll see."

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The next day, Marlin woke up feeling more refreshed than a lemon and a coconut thrown into a lime and a fountain. With orange juice. As he opened his eyes and yawned his usual, gorilla style yawn, he became aware that the entire Demeter cabin was empty.

"What the heck?" he mumbled, not for the first time. Marlin threw on his clothes, and just as he was about to bolt outside he knew that they were all in the commons yard. He just knew somehow. '_Yes, the milkshake _has _done something to me.'_ He thought. And he was right, because just as Marlin reached the entrance, a huge massive guy just came out of nowhere, and he had one eye.

"Aaaack!" he squealed.

"Sign up for Dark Chaos Full Metal Skeleton Death Warriors, a new army designed by Ms. Thalia the Metallica Necromancer and Percy Jackson! Join them in the epic conquest to kick Kronos' butt all the way back to Tartarus! All volunteers get a free Trivium t-shirt and helmet! No Hip Hop fans allowed!"

"You scared the living guacamole out of me!" Marlin spluttered feebly, trying to regain his breath and sanity again.

"Don't worry. I like to meet new people." The cyclops said, and smiled amiably. "My name is Tyson. Percy is my brother. What's your name?"

"Percy…is your brother?" At that, Tyson's face brightened and swelled with pride.

"Percy is the best big brother in the world!"

"I see…" Marlin was stunned. He had not seen that coming. As he went to the centre of the commons yard, Thalia and Percy were sitting down at two tables, and queues of excited people were bunched together like sardines in a can. One particularly bubbly girl from the Aphrodite cabin scribbled down her name so fast on a sheet of paper that Marlin found it hard to believe she was writing English. The girl made a passing remark about Justin Timberlake, which insulted Thalia deeply, and before he knew it both girls were having a full on argument based on their music sense. It got so bad and the girl was getting so pissed off, that Thalia decided to rub it in her face and turned on her stereo at top volume. Metallica's _Master of Puppets_ blared out like a siren, and Thalia chuckled as the girl clasped her hands to her ears and screeched like she had some sort of disease. The girl promptly crossed her name off the list, and stomped off, muttering insults and cursing heavy metal.

"Way to go, Thalia!" Percy praised.

"Anyone who likes Justin Timberlake must not be given any mercy." Thalia responded austerely. It was her sole, destined duty to wipe out the unbelievers in Death Metal. Percy nodded in agreement, sniggering under his breath. Marlin then knew what Percy's plan had been. He was recruiting an army of half bloods.

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Marlin sprinted up to Thalia, who was enjoying her music and handing out the Trivium merchandise with pride and contentment.

"Thalia, what on earth is going on here?"

"Percy wanted to raise an army so we can storm out Eros. We think he's hiding in Olympus."

"Olympus?" Marlin had sudden fears of seeing his mother, Demeter. What was she like? Would she like him? Did she even care he existed? He shuddered, pushing it out of his mind, like what he did with all his other emotions.

"Why Olympus?"

" 'Cus that's where the gods live, dummy!"

"Oh yeah…" he mumbled feeling stupid.

"Eros has a huge palace up there, filled with golden hearts, statues of himself and abstract art deco."

"What an arrogant sod!" Marlin protested.

"New York will be a difficult place to navigate. It's filled with chain-stores and everything."

Marlin blinked. "What's so bad about chain-stores?"

"Everything, Marlin. The main culprits are McDonalds, Starbucks and Wal-Mart. Monsters everywhere…" Thalia said it so seriously and anxiously that Marlin was beginning to feel she meant it. "I hear in the United Kingdom the supermarket Tescos is also a force to be reckoned with."

"I'll take your word for it."

Caitlin crept up behind Marlin silently, and prepared to pounce. Thalia bit her lips to stop herself laughing.

"What?" he inquired, his paranoia building up like a giant wobbly tower o' doom.

"BOO!" Caitlin boomed, and leapt up.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!" Marlin screeched, as she grappled with his neck. He started to run around in hysterics, spluttering things out loud that any other time of day would've branded him an idiot, which the other half – bloods had done so already.

"What did you that for?" he demanded, glaring at her suspiciously with frightened eyes, darting from side to side.

"The look on your face is priceless." Thalia commented.

"You need to see the Oracle, remember? That's why nobody's _gone _yet. We're all waiting for you to get this prophecy."

"Oh yeah." Marlin muttered, staring with dread at the gloomy, empty farmhouse that slouched on the ground to the east. "That place."

Marlin trudged reluctantly over to it, as the eyes of all the campers who'd signed up for Thalia's army followed him attentively. The farmhouse's shadow grew over him; it's windows seemingly watching him, as if to decide the optimum moment to smash all over him. Marlin trembled slightly as he felt along the farmhouse's doorpost.

'_Think happy thoughts…. Sunshine, lollipops and, rainbows and buttercups-' _

Then he slowly began his ascension up to the attic, where absolutely anything could greet him.

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Twenty minutes and a good amount of underpants soiling later… XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 

"So how was it? Not the prettiest sight in the world, was it?" Percy asked, as Marlin scurried down all four flights of stairs wearing an expression that you could win staring matches with.

"Um, yeah. Never felt better." He feebly replied, half-whimpering.

"We're all gonna get ourselves equipped, then we'll barge out of camp." Thalia announced, donning a confident smile and slung a quiver over her back.

"Is that the best idea?" Marlin questioned, still reeling in shock after his encounter with the Oracle. The experience had shook up his opinion about the affair, and he wasn't sure he could trust the information with anyone. Not even you, faithful reader.

"We need to get Annabeth back as soon as we can. We're not going to delay this any longer, Mr.E has wings, so he has probably gained a lot of ground."

"But what about Murphy? He doesn't know about any of this…"

"Stop badgering over everything, Marly!" Natascha commanded. Marlin twirled around in shock, surprised to see all his six siblings wearing Greek battle armour behind him. They all looked so …poised. But Marlin thought that he was just going to mindlessly lead them to their doom by taking them on this quest. "You won't get anywhere by just worrying. Relax, there are loads of us. We'll win!"

Marlin sighed. "You're right. C'mon, are we going to fight this little bow-wielding Cupid bloke or what?"

"YES!" The entire clan of Dark Chaos Full Metal Skeleton Death Warriors chorused back, making Marlin jump. They had appeared out of nowhere, apparently. At the front, Percy and Thalia headed them all, and Marlin suddenly felt out of place, the same feeling he had when he first entered the camp, the reason being that he was the only one not ready. Most of them were wearing their Trivium t-shirts, even the Aphrodite people, who didn't approve much of death metal.

"Uh, yeah, thanks guys for signing up and all, but I need to get my stuff together…"

There was a collective groan.

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Marlin felt really stupid, being the last person to get ready for the quest. His _own _quest. The Dark Chaos Full Metal Skeleton Death Warriors all glued their eyes to him as he marched to the front of the procession alongside Percy, Thalia and the Demeter Cabin. All the cabins present held up massive banners representing their patron god or goddess; Clarisse wielded a banner displaying a boar's head impaled on a spear, the background red with blood. Apollo's cabin had a harp emblazoned on their flag. Marlin was caught in awe at how much detail had gone into the flags, but he was sorrowed at whether it would all go to waste. Chiron trotted up to the assembled army looking more solemn than the grave.

"Well, you're all here…" he murmured. Almost the entire Camp Half-Blood had joined; Marlin suspected Chiron's job was going to be slightly boring when they left.

"As much as I am opposed to this quest, the circumstances have proven otherwise. Times are rife with danger and obviously Camp Half-Blood will be no safer if action is not sought…but remember. You are the children of _gods. _But you are not invincible. Do not stride blindly into danger. Use your head a bit more than your sword, and you might just keep both."

There was a ripple of nodding heads.

"Ahem." Someone coughed. Percy looked round and saw that it was Mr.D who had interrupted.

"Just a couple of words." He said. He stood up from the ledge he was sitting on, and cleared his throat.

"Just to let you know, I won't give a fig if you all get killed, because this is clear clinching proof that your supposed godly blood has fizzled up your little brains and done something to your heads. It will be _your loss._" Mr.D gave a wry smile and sat down at his table, and started a game of pinochle with a dryad that happened to be there.

"Wow. Most encouraging." Percy muttered under his breath.

Five minutes later, they went on their way; the quest had started, and Marlin could barely believe it himself.

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Just as Marlin passed the pine tree that Thalia was once trapped in, he saw Thalia stop at its foot, silent. She mouthed a couple of words, got down on her knees, and said something in ancient Greek. She got up, wiped some stray tears from her cheeks, and continued. Marlin decided not to pry.

"So, what I think is that Mr.D should drink Fanta or Sprite instead of Diet Coke. Therefore, he will be more hyper and less grouchy, and then we would actually like him!" Karmen argued.

"Are you insane?" Matthias countered. "A non-grouchy Mr.D? Yeah, and the sky is made of gold."

"She is insane." Vince chuckled.

"What are you lot blabbing on about?" Marlin asked. Karmen took a breath, and prepared to answer until she gasped and pointed behind his shoulder. Vince and Matthias realised what she was pointing at, and froze as well.

"What?" He turned around, and froze as well.

"HELP MEEEEEEEE!!!"

It was Murphy, clutching the limp body of a girl, and was being pursued by ten hellhounds and a giant harpy.


	5. All Hell Breaks Loose, Unsurprisingly

**Instant Hero (Just Add Water)**

By Becky Creighton 

AN: Well, now that I've got those pesky exams over, I can concentrate on what I like doing most – writing! Hurrah! Contains quite a lot of violence and a spot of string language. Meh. And I have changed my style slightly, so time for a game of spot the difference! You'll notice that this chapter is a lot shorter than the others, but at least you get a nice, long battle scene to make up for it. Oh, and before you ask, I have FINALLY came up with a name for Marlin's sword. At last. Two hundred years later of course…

Disclaimer: I don't actually own ANYTHING here not even Braveheart, Lord of the Rings, Trivium, Pikmin, Yoda or Star Wars, nope NOTHIN', except the basic plot and Marlin, and the other randomers who don't matter, anyway. Does anything, really….

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**Chapter 5: All Hell Breaks Loose, and Some Other Crap Too (in which Marlin totally fails to help anyone)**

"Oh shi-" Thalia said aloud.

"WE'RE COMING, MURPHY!" Marlin yelled pathetically, totally taken by surprise at the satyr's materialisation. He wrenched his claymore out of his sheath, and charged downhill towards the hellhounds, pumped full of adrenaline.

"Marlin, you idiot!" Percy shouted, and darted after the half-blood.

"Percy!" Thalia called sternly, drawing her gladius and sprinted with such speed and strength that it made an athlete in Speedos look like a pansy.

As you can probably guess, soon the entire army was chasing after each other, with Marlin at the front, making a great effort to appear as warrior-like and Aragornish as possible, but what he forgot was that this was no Lord of the Rings movie – This was real.

A hellhound snapped hungrily at Marlin's head, and he narrowly ducked after yelping idiotically, like some housewife from an old 60's sci-fi movie.

"No ya don't!" Thalia cackled, and lunged exuberantly at the monster, grappling with its neck and stabbing the sword forcefully into the hellhound's skull, blood pouring everywhere.

Marlin had to stop himself from barfing all over Thalia's Trivium t-shirt. He had never seen so much blood before in his life, and now he was finally confronted with the part of being a half-blood he'd wanted to avoid; fighting stuff.

"Ha ha! I've missed doing this kind of stuff FOREVER! Come Marlin, let's kill, kill, kill!" She laughed, raising her dripping gladius in triumph.

"Thalia, you're scaring me." Marlin whimpered, after unsuccessfully trying to muster all he knew about swordplay that he had learnt in about two weeks. Which was not much.

And then all the half bloods from the army swarmed around them, yelling as if there was some mad sale on where _everything _was free, even the manager's desk tidy. They all raised their swords and bows simultaneously, like they had been practising this forever, and Marlin was instantly reminded of Braveheart – a bunch of untrained, wild Scotsmen rampaging into battle, except it had been replaced with teenage American half-bloods, who were _not _covered in woad, believe it or not. And Marlin was the director, not Mel Gibson. He gulped. The song _O Fortuna _was brought to mind.

Everyone pounced on the hell-hounds like Pikmin onto one of those beetle thingies in that game, or rather, a goldfish that was evicted from its fishbowl and was desperate to get back in, where it belonged.

'_The stupid metaphors you think of, Marlin. Seriously.'_

Kids' swords flailed everywhere, Clarisse pinged around like Yoda with her newly fashioned electric spear, and hellhounds lashed out at anyone who dared come close. Marlin grimly had to stomach the fact that he would have to join in whether he liked it or not, and sprang to attention when the giant harpy swooped down over the battlefield cackling insanely, threatening to grab his head and tear it off as it went, rather like a Drive-Thru, actually. Murphy pushed past him desperately, screaming like a headless chicken and cradling the half-blood in his arms, shielding her from the Apollo cabin's arrows that flew across.

"What in the name of TARTURUS??" He exclaimed out loud, bleating wildly in confusion at the army's sudden appearance.

Percy kicked a hellhound in the shins, dived underneath it and rolled swiftly behind, and slashed at its hindquarters. Loads of half bloods were pinned to the ground by their wounds, nursing them and silently retreating back to the hill, where Chiron was standing, bemused. Marlin finally realised that they were running out of troops, and the Apollo cabin healers were slowly becoming more and more ineffective as the hellhounds and the harpy tramped around the place as if they owned it, spreading to each front.

"What do we do?" Marlin asked the world in general, throwing his fist at the sky. It was at that moment that a huge thunderstorm broke out, opportunely showering all the half bloods with a thick, bomb-like rain and turning the ground to mud that was even darker and heavier than a chocolate brownie.

"Sorry Mr.Zeus-man…" Marlin apologised, and then shrieked as the harpy dived down again, desperate to grab him.

'_There's _no way _I can do this.' _Marlin thought, as he dashed back into the fray, hoping that if he at least prodded one of the hellhounds they'd die.

"Why me?" He yelled. "The only useful thing that I can do is _growing stuff!"_

"Use the force, Marlin!" A voice bellowed back, which Marlin recognised as Percy's.

"This isn't Star Wars, Jackson!" Marlin shouted back.

"I didn't mean that! Use your growing force! Get all the Demeter people to-"

And then Percy got lost in a tangle of hellhound claws, celestial bronze and mud.

Marlin saw Vince and Thesi slash their way through, and for once he noticed that Thesi wasn't chewing gum, which most likely had the same probability of finding the Holy Grail in a peat bog.

"VINCE! THESI! WE NEED TO USE OUR POWERS!" He screamed, trying to make himself heard over the sounds of the thunder and the harpy's screeching, a sure fire sign that it was turning around again.

Vince nodded, looking puzzled, but when he saw the harpy steer towards them, claws outstretched and drool dripping, he bolted to Marlin's side.

Karmen leaped from the side and threw herself onto the ground to avoid a hellhound's grasp. "I'm coming too!" she called, scrabbling to her feet and flapping her sword uselessly at the monster's claws, before running away to join her siblings, squealing on the way.

"What do we do?" Vince asked, catching his breath.

"Dunno." Thesi suggested.

"Gosh. You're _so _helpful, Theseus." Karmen retorted.

"Where's Matty? He's the brainy one."

"Dunno." Thesi said again, concerning himself more with grabbing the bow off a wounded Apollo person, who dashed away. He strung an arrow, grinning, and shot it through the open neck of a hellhound that was about to crash on top of a petrified Matthias. It reeled in anger, and dissolved into a mound of dust, which blew away in the harsh winds of the storm.

"You killed it!" Matthias said in relief. "There are no more hell-hounds left!" He did a small jig on the spot, whooping.

"AAAAAAAAIE!" Natascha screeched, and flung herself forward as the harpy swooped down, _again._

"This thing isn't going to give us a break, is it?" she muttered, before promptly fainting.

"Well, in case you haven't realised yet, the only people in our army who still want to fight are Thalia, us, and Percy, who is, er, somewhere…" Vince commented.

And Marlin saw that he was right. The amount of shouting half bloods had been reduced considerably, and had been replaced by the yells of people running for the hills, literally.

"Say, where's Caitlin?" He asked, surprised as to why she hadn't given her two cents on this conversation.

"HELLLLLLLP MEEEEEEEE!!" Her recognisable voice howled, from above. Wait a minute, above?…

"Oh my god." Karmen said bluntly, "That harpy has got Caitlin." The thunder increased its intensity, and the wind hollered forcefully, like it had just been greatly offended.

"Um, which god did you mean, Karmen?" Vince asked, nervously.

"What do we do?" Marlin wailed, and dumped his hands into his face.

"Eureka!" Matthias said brightly. "We make the grass grow so big that it will catch the harpy's feet, and bring it down."

"By gum, he's got it!" chirruped Natascha, who had recovered from fainting, somehow.

"Who mentioned gum?" Thesi said, and Marlin came to the conclusion that that sentence contained the most amount of syllables Thesi had ever used since meeting him.

Ignoring him, Matthias stood out by himself, and focused all his willpower on the grass that was drowning pathetically amidst the gloopy mud. A few strands lengthened. Matthias sighed, and said, "We all need to concentrate our power together!"

All the members of the Demeter cabin linked hands in a circle, and all closed their eyes. Marlin reluctantly did so, feeling daft, and wondered where Thalia or Percy had gone.

And then, proving that indeed someone hated him a lot, the harpy plunged from the sky again, bringing Caitlin's cries with it. On impulse, Marlin grabbed the harpy's wing, and up it went again, trailing a petrified Marlin behind.

"OHFUCKDEARLORDMYGODOHCRAPSHITDAMN!" He yelped.

"MARLIN!" his siblings yelled, partly in shock but mainly in reprimanding him for his crude language.

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"Marlin?" Thalia barked, who was clinging on to the other harpy's wing for dear life.

"Thalia?…" Marlin whimpered, not sure of whether he should reply or just generally speak, which ever one that meant he would be able to scream again.

"Marlin, _and _Thalia?" Caitlin asked, dazed. Her voice was coming from below, and it dawned on Marlin that Caitlin was hanging on to the harpy's foot.

"That was incredibly stupid of you, Mason!" Percy groaned.

"Why is everyone on top of this harpy?" Marlin pondered aloud, trying to stop his breath being taken away as the harpy sailed through the darkened, deluged sky, massive droplets soaking him.

"Hey, don't ask me. It was Thalia's idea."

"Now what?" Thalia moaned.

"Our fate lies," Marlin said, building up the suspense like a horribly rubbish ghost story, "With five people. One of which chews gum, one forgets things very easily, one lip-syncs into combs, one reads like mad even though he can't properly read any of it and the last kicks people for just annoying her in the slightest, and they all specialise in producing mega sized summer fruits."

"Thanks, Marlin. I feel _so_ reassured." Percy murmured sarcastically, resuming concentration on not falling to his doom. All four half-bloods looked down mournfully at the circle of their saviours the harpy was dive-bombing towards, and then began to feel that perhaps being saved by someone like Kronos wouldn't be too bad in comparison.

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All five stood in silent meditation, willing the roots of the submerged plants to shoot up. They hummed as lightning stroked across the dark, navy sky, as the battle had gone on until the evening. The grass in the centre of the circle pricked up from the surface, and slowly coiled around itself, twisting and rising, twisting and rising, twisting and rising, twisting and rising, twisting and…

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"I say, what's that mound of green stuff that's rising up?" Caitlin inquired.

Marlin squinted through the rain soaked air, and indeed, there was a tower of strands of something making its way upward. His eyes lit up, and he nodded, impressed.

"Oh ho ho, this is gonna be good…" he chuckled.

"Marlin! This is no time to pretend to be Santa Claus!" Thalia scolded.

"I wasn't being Santa Claus!" Marlin called back, laughing. "It's Matthias's tower of-"

A name popped into his head. At that exact moment.

And then, an explosion of grass and mud and some confused and petrified screams later, Marlin fell down from the sky, blacking out as a massive harpy and three other half bloods plummeted down with him.

Chapter 5 _complete. _

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AN: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I am the queen of cliffys!


	6. Marlin Gets SpearTackled by a Midget

INSTANT HERO: JUST ADD WATER By Becky Creighton 

AN: I am not dead! But that is no excuse to kill me, either. Stuff Happened and I was unable to get on with my Percy Jackson fics for ages. But thanks for persevering with my tardiness…I return a much wiser person. I promise I shall update more often and not leave Marlin stranded in mid-air after falling off a massive harpy anymore. Note that this chapter will see the introduction of an important new character… Ahem.

Disclaimer: Do I really need to do this all over again? Ditto last chapter. I own nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing! (except Marlin and Chai ;)

**Chapter 6: Marlin gets Spear-Tackled by a Midget **

**(In which Little Miss Mozart beats Marlin to it)**

Marlin was not dead.

Instead, he was sitting up in bed miserably, rather wishing that he had.

"_Martin_," Mr.D began coldly, godly breath rasping petulantly, "I don't know why the hell we waste precious moments of our life helping _you _stay alive. Honestly. Think of the masterpieces we could've made, the quests we could've-"

The air erupted with an explosion of music.

It was so abrupt and out of place that Marlin screeched in surprise, jolted up and whacked his head on the Demeter cabin ceiling, dislodging a particularly large pumpkin growing on the roof to crash on top of his head in much the same way an anvil would in a cartoon. Vince sprang up from his slumber like an electrified cat, Natascha fell out of her bed and stubbed her toe on one of Vince's combs, Karmen forgot what had happened, Caitlin screamed and Matthias littered the air with irate curses and started slicing his duvet and pillowcase into ribbons with his celestial bronze knife. Thesi laughed uncontrollably at them all and fell back to sleep, probably still laughing in his dreams. Mr. D spilt his can of Diet Coke all over Marlin, which he suspected he had been longing to do from day one.

Marlin remembered to breathe.

The music was beyond mere words. To say it was beautiful would be an insult. To say it was amazing would be like saying the Mona Lisa is a wee bit nice. You might as well slap the player in the face than call it enchanting.

This was music in its most pure and divine form.

Just knowing it was there made Marlin feel like he could grow little wings and fly away. It was so pristine and silky that he felt that everything bad that had ever happened to him was being washed away, every pain healed – indeed, the almighty bruise that the pumpkin had created on his forehead had already dissolved into nothingness, the countless cuts and scratches he had obtained after his fall from the harpy were fading and paining himself less.

It was then that he noticed Mr.D was slowly leaning dreamily towards the cabin door, wearing a satisfied grin, watery eyes becoming less bloodshot, as if he was expecting to suddenly float out the door sideways. Under normal circumstances, the Demeter cabin would burst out laughing until they cried blood at the sight of everyone's least favourite Olympian snoozing like a baby, but they were also too caught up in the enchantment to care.

They snapped out of it.

"I'm going to investigate!" Vince announced, bolting out the door, still wearing his pyjamas. The other half-bloods nodded and chased after him.

"Wait for me!" Marlin exclaimed desperately. He grabbed a tartan dressing gown that just happened to be there, and dashed out into the courtyard, not questioning why he was already able to walk.

To his dismay, his siblings had already scattered into the distance. Where had they gone?

He then noticed how quiet the courtyard was – silent as the grave. Even the cabins that were already empty seemed emptier than usual, as if the emptiness had gone outside to find where the music had come from.

Marlin followed his ears to the Big House.

"What. The. Hell."

Marlin swivelled around, only to find Clarisse and some of her friends wandering mindlessly towards the music as well. Cursing, he dashed behind a tree in the forest, hoping to avoid her unforgiving gaze.

He was glad that for once the daughter of Ares wasn't sneering at him or preparing to drown him on land in the volleyball sandpit (not pleasant); but he knew that Clarisse wouldn't even _dare _touch him, not while she was wearing her tailor made Hello Kitty pyjamas (in which the Kitty was smoking three cigars, wearing provocative tatooes, was riding a Harley Davidson over an Aethiopian Drakon and giving the finger to Zeus while lopping off the _real _Hello Kitty's head with a huge katana sword) which she wouldn't be seen dead in. Mainly because of the massive psycho Zeus would probably throw.

He was wrong.

A mammoth onion sailed through the forest and got him right in the eyes.

"Aaaaaaack!" he wailed in pain.

"Hey!" Clarisse called jeeringly behind him, "It's the Onion Boy!"

"_Di immortales!_" Marlin cursed, sprinting for his life.

"Oi! Come back here, Mr. Plantpot!" Another huge onion whizzed by and struck him in the small of the back.

"No! Spare me! I hate onions!" Marlin pleaded. What was it with him and massive vegetables today? "Where the hell did you get them, anyway?"

"If you don't succumb to my wrath _right now_, I'm going to cram more than a few of those down your little throat, Mason!"

"Aaaaaaaaaaaack!" Marlin squealed, narrowly dodging a boar shaped slipper adorned with full-on metal spikes and chains that one of her friends hurled at him. "I'm being assaulted with items of clothing!"

"We've got far worse things than that, you-"

The chase halted as soon as their eyes fell on the Big House.

It was not the sight of Chiron, Percy and Thalia looking as if they'd just seen Hades wearing a shocking pink handbag, bright blue eyeliner and a miniskirt that made them stop. Nor was it the sight of almost half the camp standing around with a dreamy glow in their eyes, practically radiating health and life. It was not the intensely jealous expressions on the faces of the dryads and the Apollo cabin members. It was not the sight of Murphy the satyr looking incredibly sheepish – well, as sheepish as someone who is already half-goat can look – that caught their eyes.

No, it was the girl in the middle playing the violin.

Marlin immediately recognised her as the girl Murphy had carried into camp the other day. Short, ash blonde hair that was tinted brown, hawk-like hazelnut eyes that leered out blankly at everything that didn't matter but took avid interest in everything that did; and at the moment that was the violin she held in her bony, but supple hands.

She was painfully thin and way too small for her age – she stood at a mere four foot six – and there was something square-like to her shoulders, as if she had been kept in a cupboard or something.

But she was so totally absorbed in the music that Marlin wondered is she even realised how much people had assembled around her. Her prominent nose and eyebrows moved not once as her hands locked onto the motion of the bow and her fingers on the strings, eyes closed she weaved the notes like threads in the air, and Marlin could've _sworn _the music felt like a blanket that wrapped around his mind with the fabric of beauty that was being woven with the girl's grace, the silken whispering of the Muses filling her head.

And then she finally finished her rendition with a last, smooth note that swam longingly in the ears of every single soul that was there, slowly fading out of the grasp of mere mortal hands.

No one said a word. No one wanted the magic to go away.

But it did.

The girl gradually opened her eyes and quickly surveyed the crowd of gaping mouths around her, with absolutely no expression on her face - either she had expected them to be there or she was ignoring them, because not even the slightest smile widened her cracked lips.

Clarisse broke the silence.

"What. The. Hell." She proclaimed again, glaring at the girl suspiciously.

She finally spoke. "I. Like your. Shirt." The girl pointed at Clarisse's top, not noticing that Clarisse had turned a deep shade of blood red.

There was something odd about her speech that Marlin couldn't put his foot on. It was detached but melodic, cautious but beautiful. It was as if at every sentence she said, she got confused as to why her words didn't sail off into the air like the notes of her violin. Marlin racked his mind for that weird Italian word that described choppy music…staccato. That was it; she spoke in staccato.

The crowd, slightly cured of their numbness from the music's awe, slowly got up and steadily dispersed as the girl got more and more interested in Clarisse's shirt.

Murphy whimpered, "She healed herself…"

Chiron's eyes widened. "Without ambrosia or nectar? At all?…"

The satyr nodded furiously. "As soon as she woke up, she grabbed my panpipes and started playing Pachelbel's Canon…and her mauled arm began to fix itself."

"Pachelbel's Canon…! Hmph!" Thalia spat disdainfully. Marlin had forgotten that she was a huge heavy metal fan.

Chiron stared at the girl, lost for words or indeed thought. She was still examining Clarisse's top with far more interest than should be humanly possible to achieve.

"What does. Harley. Davidson mean?" she asked innocently.

Clarisse's beetroot face was scrunched up in bewilderment.

"WHAT THE HELL?!?" she shouted again.

"Pray, my dear child…" Chiron began. The centaur approached the girl gingerly, still in a kind of daze after the music. Marlin remembered that Chiron was a big fan of weird music. _Dean Martin…_ Marlin shuddered. "What is your name?"

"Name?" the girl replied emotionlessly. "I do. Not. Have. A name. Music is. Better."

"This chick's giving me the creeps…" Percy muttered pathetically under his breath. Thalia nodded sagely in agreement. Chiron tried to smile.

"Then, what would you like to be known as?"

The girl drew her attention away from Clarisse's shirt, and then became impeccably fascinated with Marlin's dressing gown, sprinting up to him with such speed that he thought she was going to spear-tackle him.

"Aaaaaaaaack!" he yelled, not for the first time that day…

The girl stopped right in front of him and began to dig her small hands into the pockets.

"Tartan," she began brightly (possibly the first time she had shown any emotion at all since entering camp) while feeling along the soft collar of the gown, hand dangerously close to Marlin's neck, "is. Scottish. Do you. Play. The bagpipes?" She then started to fiddle with the cloth belt, the other hand feeling along the arms. For a horrible minute second, Marlin worried that she was going to take the belt off…

Before he knew it, he had gone as red as the tartan, eyes frozen in terror.

Someone broke out into a torrent of unrestrained laughter behind them.

"Marlin!" Vince wheezed in his merriment, "Look at yourself!"

It was not his day. He'd fallen off a harpy, been hit with one pumpkin, two onions and a metal slipper, been chased a child of the war god while wearing a tartan dressing gown and now he had nearly been winded by this midget who had just put Mozart to shame and who was asking him whether he played the bagpipes or not.

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…….." he groaned, mind blank, trying not to make any sudden movements. He looked to his side and gave his laughing siblings and Clarisse the evil eye. Thesi seemed as if his face was about to crack up faster than a china plate in an earthquake, chewing gum being churned up with a fervour like never before.

He was having _chewing gum _for _breakfast_?

Marlin had seen it all now.

Chiron coughed uncomfortably. "I hope I'm not _interrupting anything_," he began irritably, which only made Vince, Natascha, Karmen, Matthias, Caitlin, Clarisse, Thesi, Thalia and Percy giggle all the more, "but, um, what would you like your name to be?"

Much to Marlin's relief, the girl lost interest in his dressing gown and ran over to Thalia to poke at the rock band badges fastened to her jacket instead.

"HEY!" the half-blood scolded, glowering at her in such a wild way with her electric eyes that it seemed to brand the word, 'FREAK!' on the girl's forehead.

The girl was still not deterred. "Anyone who plays namby-pamby classical crap is not allowed to touch these ultimate symbols of musical power. So PISS OFF."

The girl's eyes widened at the words, 'musical power'.

Chiron was about to give up for good. "If you don't mind-"

"Tchaikovsky." She said abruptly. "That will. Be. My name."

Thalia and Percy exchanged glances.

"Ooooookay…" Percy mumbled. "How about we call you Chai for short?"

The girl gave him a vacant stare. "No. Tchaikovsky."

"Chai."

"Tchaikovsky."

"Chai!"

"Tchaikovsky. Is. My name."

Percy rolled his eyes. "Well, I'm just going to call you Chai whether you like it or not."

The girl still pinned him with her eyes. "Tchaikovsky."

"Do you have a surname?" Chiron asked eventually.

The girl blinked, and thought. "Lutoslawski?"

Thalia groaned. "What's with the composers? Seriously!"

"Okay then. You're called _Chai Luto_," Percy told the girl sternly, "and you're not to go around camp giving us this classical music crap anymore. Got that?"

She shook her head. "Tchaikovsky Lutoslawski." Then Tchaikovsky nodded in contentment with herself. "Yes."

Instantly, the symbol of a lyre glowed above her head.

Chapter 6 _End_.

AN: A pretty weird chapter, I must admit. Please tell me what you think of Chai, the little dear. Also, a random announcement…I now declare Vince, Caitlin, Marlin, Natascha, Karmen, Thesi and Matthias to be the unofficial fanon members of the Demeter cabin. That means, if you wish, you can make them appear in your fics! But ONLY as the Demeter cabin members. And, of course, that also means you can make Clarisse and her posse beat the crap out of them if you wish… --;;


	7. Apollo Arrives In Style,Fashionably Late

INSTANT HERO: JUST ADD WATER 

**By Becky Creighton**

Disclaimer: I do not own PJO, or any of its characters.

Chapter 7: Apollo Arrives In Style, Fashionably Late

(In which there is a car, some darts, and ANOTHER beginning)

Tchaikovsky Lutoslawski looked up amiably at the floating lyre symbol.

"Daddy's here." She said simply.

"_Dadd_y?" Percy exclaimed. "You _know _you're a half-blood?"

"Duh. I've known. For. Quite some. Time." She replied. "Gave me. Violin."

There was a sudden screech of strangely stylish sounding metal, and Marlin's eyes boggled out of their sockets once he saw what it was.

"WHOA!"

Before he knew it, a red convertible Maserati Spyder caterwauled as it was flung into the sky, staining the air like a blob of ketchup.

It landed, there was a sickening crunch, and the sound of several hearts cringing as the beautiful machine collapsed before them, heaving fumes like an overweight, middle-aged smoker.

It was terrible to watch.

"Ughhhh…." Someone groaned from within. The person to whom it belonged clambered out in a daze, and held his head in his hands. Golden blood, Ichor, flowed from his temple. He managed a weak smile, and held one hand up, closing his eyes.

"_Sun-chariot sails_

_And brings itself down with style._

_It hurts me big time._"

He giggled quietly. "Ooooooh, yeah."

Chai's face lit up like a thousand suns. "Daddy!" She bolted over to Apollo, arms outstretched. It didn't seem to occur to her that a mangled sports car was in any way odd.

"Uh, _hi_, honey!" he replied, catching her as she leapt at him, snuggling into his linen suit. Marlin had no idea what the expression on his face was supposed to mean. It had a mixture of confusion, irritation, happiness, impatience, joy and mirth. He hadn't the foggiest inkling of what it signified, and so did Murphy. Satyrs are able to read human emotions, but even he didn't know what to make of it. Did Apollo even know who she was?

"My lord Pheobus!" Chiron called. "Are you-"

"No sweat, Chiron!" he answered back, still wearing that awkward look. He flicked a bemused glance at Chai. "I'm okay!"

"The car…" Percy mumbled. "The car. It's…it's…the car."

Marlin nodded mournfully in agreement. "I know. The car."

"Thank the gods!" Thalia exclaimed. "I never liked it anyway."

Percy and Marlin stared at her, as if she was an alien. An alien who hated beauty.

"What the hell is _wrong _with you?" Percy cried. "Even _Marlin_ here respects its awesomeness, and he grows _tulips _for crying out loud!"

"Hey!" Marlin retorted.

"I just don't like cars, okay?" Thalia shot back, hurt.

Percy blinked. "Oh. Yes."

Marlin blinked. "What?"

Percy narrowed his eyes at him. "I could tell you, but I don't think Thalia would like it."

Marlin stared at the ground, ashamed. "Oh."

Chai finally jumped from her perch in her father's arms and scurried away like an ecstatic ant, brandishing her violin from the ground.

"Daddy! You have to. See. Me play! I've got. Better!"

"That's nice dear." The god replied listlessly. He turned his attention to Chiron, as if it never happened. "I heard what went down. And it looks like these folk need a lift." He gestured to Marlin, Thalia and Percy. "Hola, Daughter of Zeus! Long time no see."

Apollo materialised in front of them.

"Hi, Apollo."

"Hi, Apollo."

"Hi, Apollo."

Apollo smiled at the three sets of voices. "Hi Thalia. Hi Percy." When his eyes came to Marlin, his face drew a blank. "Who's this guy?" The way he'd said it was as if a brilliant party had just been trashed.

Marlin resisted the temptation to scowl. "Uh, I'm Marlin Mason, sir. Hi."

The god smiled. "Apollo's the name, Pheobus is the other name, rhyming is the hypothetical game. To me, it is not really a game, more of a spiritual insight into places of the mind that mere sentient souls cannot reach with actions and thought alone, and achieve the balance of consciousness and unconsciousness with the freedom of questioning the tedium of the common state of being. You with me?"

"Not really."

"Ack, don't worry," Apollo replied cheerfully, "It's a fickle business, poetry. It has been most wonderful meeting you, Mr. Mason." Then he looked at Percy as if Marlin had only been a plaything to pass the time with, and raised an eyebrow. "Son of the Sea God. I don't mean to rush you, but if Annabeth isn't saved within twelve days, Eros' enchantment will become permanent."

Percy's face drained. Unknown to him so did Marlin's. "_What_?" they spluttered in unison. Percy noticed this, and a fraction of a thought crossed his mind. He decided not to mention it.

Marlin also decided not to mention it, and that he hated Apollo already. The way he became disinterested in the people who didn't matter.

"Daddy," Chai asked innocently behind them, "-"

"Daddy's busy at the moment, honey." He replied instantly. Hell, he ignored his own daughter. "We must leave now."

"I thought you were here about Chai…" Marlin mumbled.

Apollo stared at him. "Who?"

"Chai!" he replied again, doing his best to keep his irritation out of the way. He nodded in the waiting girl's direction, still wearing a patient smile, holding her violin with trembling hands.

"Oh, yes, I knew that." He answered quickly, winking nervously at Chai. "I did indeed pop down for a visit, but duty called and I knew you might want a ride to good old Olympus."

"How thoughtful of you!" Murphy commented. He was promptly ignored.

Once again, the god pressed Percy with his stare. "We leave _now_."

"Well, obviously!"

"Now, as in _now._" He stressed. Percy blinked.

"I think I know what you're getting at, except our ride is kinda…kinda blown up…" Percy replied feebly, glancing at the mangled heap of Maserati Spyder pie.

"Ah." Apollo notified. "Don't worry about that."

He clicked his fingers with a grin, and the pieces of the vehicle span up in the air and rearranged themselves. The new car gleamed in a fresh sun, winking cheesily.

"Oh. My. Gods." Murphy exclaimed.

"A regenerating car…so…awesome…." Marlin whispered dreamily.

The world hung in a blissful silence as the guys of the group admired the entire essence of the joy of motoring.

"AHEM!" Thalia coughed suddenly. Marlin gave a small, suffocated scream. "One, I am not getting in that thing again, and two, why do we need a ride if Manhattan is so close by?"

"That's the problem, dear. I would get into Manhattan as soon as possible if I were you, because Annabeth isn't going to be there for very long."

Thalia, Percy, Marlin and Murphy raised their eyebrows. "How long?" they all said at once.

Apollo looked at his watch, sucked in a cringing breath through his teeth, and looked at the four of them with a sarcastic smile. "Oh, about two hours."

Four demi-god mouths hung open.

As if to decorate the disbelief with the Icing of Irony, Apollo held up one hand, closed his eyes, and recited,

"The deadline smacks them 

_Right in the face like a fish._

_Yes, most amusing."_

He winked. "Let's ride!"

Percy, Marlin and Murphy exchanged glances, and leapt into the passenger seats. Thalia would have none of it.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" she cut in, hands flailing. "What about our weapons, and supplies, and-"

"Already sorted!" the sun god announced, beckoning to six bulging duffel bags. "Everything you need, right here."

Immediately, the number six struck everyone as odd.

"Why are there _six _bags?" Percy inquired.

Apollo peered at Marlin. "I believe you have an explanation for us, Mr. Mason?"

Marlin looked around nervously, suddenly feeling jumpy. "Me?"

"Yes, you."

Marlin drew a blank. How was _he _supposed to know?

Then it struck him.

"The Prophecy." He muttered softly.

Everyone's eyes latched onto his.

"What about it?" Percy asked.

"It mentioned there would be six people going. And it told me who they were….There are two more people we need."

"Who?" Thalia demanded.

Marlin looked across at Chai, and frowned sadly. "Chai," he replied, "and Vince."

Chiron's eyes widened. "Chai?" he cried. "Why Chai? She's literally just got here, and has no training at all! Why would the Oracle-"

"I do. Have training." A small voice cut in. "I learnt. How. To play. Darts. I have. Become very. Skilled at. It." She gestured to the belt tied around her waist, which held over fifty minute darts slotted into every available space. Marlin wondered why he hadn't noticed it before. In the deep pockets of her baggy trousers, he saw star-like metal objects protruding from out from the open corners. Shuriken.

"This is insane!" Murphy exclaimed. "Chai can't go!"

"Dur-dur!" Apollo called suddenly, stealing a glimpse of his watch. "One hour, forty-five minutes. If Missus Delphi Woman says she's going, she's going. I knew she was gonna come anyway. I always know these things. After all, I make these prophecy thingies. Isn't that right, Chai honey?"

"Yes, daddy!" Chai burst.

"Good girl! Now hop in."

She almost blasted herself like a rocket into the seat next to Marlin, and suddenly became fascinated with the seat belt. She tried to insert it into her mouth, and then into the pocket in Marlin's dressing gown. _Hold on_, he thought, _I'm still wearing that tartan –_

"Uh, sir, I need to-"

"Thalia, go fetch Vince, will you?"

"Um, si-"

"He's not going to pleased." Thalia replied. She heaved a sigh of defeat, and bolted to the Demeter cabin.

"Sir-"

"Tough luck for him," Percy muttered. "Why's _Vince _coming, Marlin?"

"It's just what the Prophecy said…" Marlin replied. "But I need to get this-"

"What the hell's going on?" a panting Vince shouted from across the courtyard, taking in the image of the car and the half-bloods wearing urgent frowns with complete confusion. Well, except for Chai, who was trying to wrap the seat belt around her arm. His traffic light eyes lit in Apollo's direction. "My lord Apollo." He announced, bowing, "It is a pleasure to-"

"No time!" the god snapped, back flipping into the driver's seat, a manoeuvre Murphy was in awe of. "Just get in. One hour, thirty-five minutes!"

Vince took the hint, and plonked himself right beside Percy. Thalia followed, whooping, all previous distress evaporated.

"Let's go already!" Marlin yelled.

"Yeah!" Apollo replied joyfully. He twisted the ignition key with great gusto. The resulting roar was hearty and boisterous. Marlin couldn't believe it. This time, _this time_, the quest _was _beginning, it was just that he never imagined it would begin in the back seat of a god's convertible sports car. There was just the small matter of _not _going on a quest wearing a tartan dressing gown.

"Um, Apollo sir, sorry to interrupt, but-"

And the car blasted off.

"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Vince whooped.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!" Marlin screamed.

"YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Percy yelled.

"DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDY!" Chai yelped.

"YEGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODS!" Thalia screeched.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Murphy bawled.

"TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Apollo hollered.

Soon the Maserati Spyder was a cherry hanging in the sky, dangling ever so deliciously like it was dying for someone to come along and pick it off, because it would be such a shame if it stayed there to rot. The word Grace was written in a purplish-blue horizon, and the word tartan was scribbled on Marlin's ego.

"_Indigo pages_

_Open before us heroes._

_Sweet heaven, baby."_

Chapter 7 _end_.

AN: At last! Progress! Let me know what you think.


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